Survival Tips

American badassery:

As [Master Sgt. Scott] Ford and Staff Sgt. John Wayne Walding returned fire, Walding was hit below his right knee. Ford turned and saw that the bullet "basically amputated his right leg right there on the battlefield."

Walding, of Groesbeck, Tex., recalled: "I literally grabbed my boot and put it in my crotch, then got the boot laces and tied it to my thigh, so it would not flop around. There was about two inches of meat holding my leg on." He put on a tourniquet, watching the blood flow out the stump to see when it was tight enough.

If there's anything to smile about in the story it's that the guy's name is John Wayne.

But for the record, the opposite of that is American Jackassery, and it's not funny. (By the way, lots of background emails going on around this story - folks are not laughing.)

Cassandra channels Ayn Rand:

Kill man’s sense of values. Kill his capacity to recognise greatness or to achieve it. Great men can’t be ruled. We don’t want any great men. Don’t deny conception of greatness. Destroy it from within. The great is the rare, the difficult, the exceptional. Set up standards of achievement open to all, to the least, to the most inept – and you stop the impetus to effort in men, great or small. You stop all incentive to improvement, to excellence, to perfection. ...

Then there’s another way. Kill by laughter. Laughter is an instrument of human joy. Learn to use it as a weapon of destruction. Turn it into a sneer. It’s simple. Tell them to laugh at everything. Tell them that a sense of humour is an unlimited virtue. Don't let anything remain sacred in a man’s soul – and his soul won’t be sacred to him. Kill reverence and you’ve killed the hero in man. One doesn’t reverence with a giggle. He’ll obey and he’ll set no limits to obedience – anything goes – nothing is too serious.

Allah at Hot Air: "It’s not a joke on wounded soldiers, as I take it, but a joke on the Pentagon placing unfair demands on the wounded to compensate for the manpower shortage."

You see, the milbloggers are just too stupid to get the joke. I mean, that's why we get sent to Iraq, right?**

And far too many commenters there agree. But they're missing the point (and likewise mistaken in claiming there's a boycott call coming from this direction). As Mrs G pointed out, "We have guys who are truly making every effort possible to stay in the military and go back with their band of brothers and there are some who are disheartened to realize that will never happen." (There are links in the original). That's what the pathetic little shits at the Onion don't get, and what the commenters at Hot Air are equally blissfully ignorant of - the piece is ridiculing the Pentagon for accommodating such folks. Their defense is ignorance, of course - they had no idea wounded troops were fighting for the right to continue serving, to get back into combat even, and have been since the war began. But they seen on the TeeVees where no one wants to join up or re-up because of the war so the Pentygon was sending all them wounded Pee Tee Ess Dee troops back to eye-rack with branes dameged so it mus be true, and it oughta get stopped!

Of course, the Onion gets to make a few bucks, too. Cause people are wiling to pay money for that kinda funny.

Just for laughs - a hilarious story from the Pentagon, March 2006:

SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, CNN ANCHOR: There are nearly a hundred military generals with sons and daughter whose are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. One family, the Odiernos, talked to AMERICAN MORNING about what happens when father is son go off to war and the son almost doesn't come back.

Here's Barbara Starr.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

BARBARA STARR, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Linda Odierno watched both her husband and son go off to war in Iraq. But soon after her husband came home, the phone rang with dreaded news. Their son, Tony, had been hit.

LINDA ODIERNO, SOLDIER'S MOTHER: When I heard about Tony's injury, all I could think about was, how is he feeling? How much pain is he in? And how he's doing.

STARR: Tony was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade during a routine patrol in Baghdad.

CAPT. TONY ODIERNO, SON OF ARMY GENERAL: The first one they shot hit my vehicle. It went through my door, took off that arm, and it killed my driver.

STARR: Bleeding uncontrollably, one arm shot off, Tony climbed through the gunners's hatch and tried to help his buddies before he collapsed. It was courage any father would be proud of, especially the tough general who had commanded the 4th Infantry Division, a division responsible for Saddam Hussein's capture.

LT. GEN. RAYMOND ODIERNO, FATHER OF ARMY CAPTAIN: I think it hit home when Tony got hurt, but it is different when you're a father. I mean, you know, he's my son. As a parent, you almost feel sorry for yourself initially. At least I did. And then when I saw Tony, I didn't feel sorry for myself.

STARR: The Odiernos say it was actually their son who kept them strong as they watched him recover. Tony and his dad now have adjoining Pentagon offices. Tony is the personal aide to General Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. This young man wants other amputees to know they will get better.

T. ODIERNO: Sometimes when you look at your injuries, I mean, it's just hard to look at first. You know, you're not used to your new body yet, and it's hard. And then one day, you realize that I can still live a great life, I'm still going to live. I can still live that, whatever I want to do.

STARR: And the general finds his life changed by what happened to his son. Now, when he talks to parents of other wounded soldiers...

R. ODIERNO: We talk as parents. I don't talk as a general to a parent. I talk as a parent.

STARR: Barbara Starr, CNN, the Pentagon.

An update from Greta (who actually was calling for a boycott of the Onion): "Update 9:45 PM: The video has been removed!!!!"

A must read from Robert Stokely: Elijah Carroll

Footnotes:

*They do teach you that as long as enemy contact is maintained you will keep your weapon pointing at the bad guys and shooting, meaning that sans medic, your wounded bud (who may be you) will have to take care of him/herself. Such things are, of course, situational.

** Sorry - that was just a joke that went wrong.