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The Mudville Gazette is written and produced by Greyhawk, the call sign of a real military guy currently serving somewhere in Iraq. Unless otherwise credited, the opinions expressed are those of the author, and nothing here is to be taken as representing the official position of or endorsement by the United States Department of Defense or any of its subordinate components. Furthermore, I will occasionally use satire or parody herein. The bottom line: it's my house.

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« Warlord | Main | Waving a Flag »

July 12, 2006

Speaking of Iraq...

Greyhawk

When you give a speech, your opening remarks set the tone. You must make your key points early (and often) or risk them being lost on all but the most intent listeners. The same is true for writing - or reporting. Your opening paragraphs establish your story. This may in fact be even more important in writing than in speaking - readers can easily move on to something else without the stigma of appearing rude in public, and if you haven't made your point early you've lost them.

For example, here are the opening paragraphs from US Ambassador to Iraq Zalmay Khalilzad's remarks at Center for Strategic and International Studies:

I will give my bottom line up front. I believe Americans, while remaining tactically patient about Iraq, should be strategically optimistic. Most important, a major change - a tectonic shift - has taken place in the political orientation of the Sunni Arab community. A year ago, Sunni Arabs were outside of the political process and hostile to the United States. They boycotted the January 2005 election and were underrepresented in the transitional national assembly. Today, Sunni Arabs are full participants in the political process, with their representation in the national assembly now proportional to their share of the population. Also, they have largely come to see the United States as an honest broker in helping Iraq's communities come together around a process and a plan to stabilize the country.

Moreover, al Qaeda in Iraq has been significantly weakened during the past year. This resulted, not only from the recent killing of Zarqawi, but also from the capture or killing of a number of other senior leaders and the creation of an environment in which it is more difficult and dangerous for al Qaeda in Iraq.

And here are the opening paragraphs from the Washington Post's coverage of the speech:

America's top envoy in Baghdad yesterday denied that Iraq is now embroiled in a civil war but acknowledged growing concern that sectarian clashes could derail the new government if violence is not brought under control. Ambassador Zalmay Khalilzad also said the new security crackdown in Baghdad has been a disappointment and is being reviewed to make "adjustments."

"I do not believe that what's happening could be described . . . as a civil war. But there is significant sectarian violence, there's no question about that," he said in a speech at the Center for Strategic and International Studies. ". . . There is a risk that the sectarian conflict will expand, state institutions will be overwhelmed. And that's what needs to be avoided." For now, however, he said the government is holding together, and political parties are committed to trying to prevent a full war.

Those lead paragraphs were so fundamentally at odds in meaning I honestly thought at first they must have been reporting on a different speech. In fact, those Post quotes must have come from ad-libbed remarks, questions and answers following the actual speech, or the reporter's faulty memory of the event, in which the only reference to civil war is in this context: "A precipitous Coalition departure could unleash a sectarian civil war...". It is a shame that the Post reporter couldn't find anything in the Ambassador's prepared remarks worthy of a newspaper headline.

The full text of the speech, along with some interesting discussion in the comments at Belmont Club are well worth your while to read. The Post story is a complete waste of time. That's unfortunate, because they could have just as easily provided the actual text of the speech too - if they really wanted anyone to know what was said.

Or they could take a cue from Glenn Reynolds, who in a characteristically brief and concise link to Belmont says "A LOOK AT what's going on in Iraq." It's really that simple.

Posted by Greyhawk at 05:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (17) |