Bambi Stokes-Hymington's NFL Preview

Well, the big question most of you are wondering this first week of the NFL season is "where's Bambi been?" Let me tell you, I thought I was going on a nice family vacation to the Caribbean, but a near miss from a hurricane had everybody a bit on edge. That cut down a bit on the party atmosphere, until we realized it was headed away.

Speaking of Hurricanes, how about those Dolphins? Yet another game I picked right. More about that later, but first let's do talk about the hurricane that recently hit New Orleans. I've promised before that I won't talk about politics here, but hurricanes aren't political. I am glad to see a lot of reporters finally getting up the nerve to start blaming the President for what's wrong with this country. But what really gets my dander up is the folks who are trying to blame the victims - those people in New Orleans who are forced to suffer while the rest of you heat the earth with our SUVs.

Speaking of somebody with courage to speak up for the victims of this massacre, three cheers for Senator Mary Landrieu, who's taking a real "buck stops here" approach to putting those people in their place. If anyone wants to blame the people of New Orleans or Louisiana she's served notice: she's going to bop them right on the nose.

But Senator Mary Landrieu, a Democrat from Louisiana, lashed out at federal officials whom she said had denigrated local efforts to deal with the catastrophe.

"If one person criticises them or says one more thing, including the president of the United States, he will hear from me," she said on the ABC's This Week.

"One more word about it after this show airs and I might likely have to punch him. Literally."

President George W. Bush, who flew to Alabama, Mississippi and New Orleans, earlier admitted the response to Katrina was "not acceptable". He said before leaving Washington: "We'll get on top of this situation and we're going to help the people that need help."

In fact, I'm watching close, so I'm ready to start my list of people who will soon experience the most feared left hook in the Senate. Because to Senator Landrieu I say "You go girl!" And I'm going to do my part here and now to support her by compiling a "hit list" for her, so when she's done with her recovery efforts she can start whacking those people who have earned it.

First up, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, who tried to blame Governor Blanco for the delay. That's outrageous! Pow! Right in the kisser! Shame on him.

Next up, the people in charge of the Red Cross who said Governor Blanco blocked their delivery of aid. Horrible! I bet they won't be able to talk trash like that after Sentaor Landrieu knocks their stinking Red Cross teeth out.

Next in line is whoever took that picture of those buses. That's such a bunch of crap! Those buses are underwater - no one could possibly escape in those. And if you ask me - it's the administration in Washington who doesn't treat bus drivers right. That's not just my opinion, it's what the Senator said on Fox News. It's because of Bush that Mayor Nagin has trouble getting his people to come to work on a sunny day. And speaking of that, guess who else just asked for a Senator-flavored knuckle sandwich. That's right - Fox News. Watch this video - she gives a few verbal punches to the clown on Fox, and I'm sure the only thing that stopped her from physically jacking that jutting jaw was the fact that it wouldn't stop moving long enough for her to take aim or even get a word in edge wise. Watch the whole thing - it's a dirty shame to see people pointing fingers at the people of Louisiana like that. Watch the whole thing.

As for those busses, here's the first place I saw them, so punches for those guys too.

And if CNN isn't careful, they get a "kickback" from Senator Pain too. Watch this video, where they practically accuse Louisiana Governor Blanco of being responsible for all the problems.

Next in line for a Hetz Donut is the New York Times. Their story about the blocking of the bridges so that people couldn't escape New Orleans is the worst finger pointing of all. That should end those ridiculous claims that they're "left-wing". Then here's the ol' one two punch - one for you and one for you - and everyone you link to, too! And then another one for you!

Senator Landrieu might want to hit the gym, because she's got a lot of smack downs to administer - because I'm just getting started.

Update: President Bush admitted everything was all his fault again today. It's about time he admitted that again. I can't believe he waited eleven or twelve days since the last time he admitted it.

Update: Thank goodness we had the military to come in and take over after the federal government messed up, even though they're over stretched in Iraq.

Update: Ooops - almost forgot. Here's my predictions for last weekends games - as you can see, I was exactly right again.

Chicago 7 Washington 9
Denver 10 Miami 34
New Orleans 23 Carolina 20
Seattle 14 Jacksonville 26
Tennessee 7 Pittsburgh 34
Cincinnati 27 Cleveland 13
Houston 7 Buffalo 22
N.Y. Jets 7 Kansas City 27
Tampa Bay 24 Minnesota 13
Arizona 19 N.Y. Giants 42
Green Bay 3 Detroit 17
Dallas 28 San Diego 24
St. Louis 25 San Francisco 28
Indianapolis 24 Baltimore 7
Philadelphia 10 Atlanta 14