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Back in pre-email days the only way to pass written jokes or cartoons around the world was to make a "Xerox copy" to send via US Postal Service to distant friends. (You younger readers can verify this by asking some old dude.) An amazing amount of time, effort, and office resources were devoted to this practice - I can remember seeing new ones turn up every few weeks where I worked.
Most of them have long since transitioned from that format to email, and are widely available on the world wide web (see 2.6 million google hits for '50 reasons why beer is better than a woman', for example). But one I haven't been able to find yet was a black and white 5-panel cartoon. The first panel showed a GI wading waist deep in a swamp, saying "It sucks here". Underneath the caption said "Infantry". The next panel showed the same picture, but the guy says "I like how it sucks here" and the caption reads "Rangers". The next panel the guy says "I wish it suked more here!" above the caption "Special Forces". The scene switches to a helicopter for the next box, the pilot looking down saying "Looks like it sucks down there" and the caption "Army Aviators". The last panel shows a guy sitting in an easy chair holding a remote watching TV crying "What - no cable? This place sucks!!!" The caption? Air Force.
Like I said, I haven't been able to find that on line. If anyone can point us to one please do. (Or email me a scan if you have one.)
I'd forgotten about that old joke until I read this story in Stars and Stripes:
The people fighting the war on terrorism are being asked to tighten their belts to help pay for it.
Air Force bases are cutting back on utility bills. Commands are canceling travel or training that doesn?t somehow support the war. And at some fitness centers, people will have to bring their own towel to save on laundry costs.
Budget cuts are even hitting small, local businesses that rely on U.S. air bases.
Tony Molloy, who owns a news agency in Beck Row near RAF Mildenhall, England, said the base canceled its contract for 316 magazines with weekly TV listings because it has pulled the plug on cable television in billeting.
?They rang up from the contracting office and said they were cutting the cable, so they wouldn?t need the magazines,? said Molloy, who has provided the magazines for several years. Col. Richard Devereaux, RAF Mildenhall?s base commander, confirmed the loss of cable TV in billeting.
Small things would have a large impact, Devereaux added. For example, the chapel?s weekly bulletins will be in black and white instead of color, and cell phones will be shelved if they are not used enough to support the contract. The 435th Air Base Wing, the host unit at Ramstein Air Base in Germany, is reducing supplies and equipment purchases and limiting video teleconferencing use, according to Lt. Col. John Long, commander of the 435th Comptroller Squadron. Bases also are asking people to turn down the heat in the winter to save on utility bills.
?Small things add up,? Devereaux said. ?Sometimes small savings send a signal that we really need to tighten our belt.?
Of course, officials said, war- fighting capabilities and readiness are untouchable. Other than that, they said, everything is fair game.
?It will be painful,? Devereaux said, ?but we can get there."
Update: Got a joke about another branch of the service? Add to the comments. All in good fun.
When I was stationed at Ramstein (37th AS), we had that very cartoon up in our shop on the flightline. We thought it hilarious. I've been looking for it too, so if you find it, send it on over. ;)Posted by Kit Jarrell at April 13, 2005 02:24 PM
There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions.
The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says,....."Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"
Likewise the Army guy scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"
The Army guy walks over to the Air Force guy and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of archrivals"
The Air Force guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck"
So the Air Force guy pops open his trunk and finds a full, unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
He says to the Army guy, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship"
The Army guy replies, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Army guy hands it back to the Air Force guy and says, "Your turn!"
The Air Force guy twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."
Posted by Shop Target at April 13, 2005 02:43 PM
The 4 panel doonesbury strip (and I hates doonesbury) from the first Gulf War was pretty good: The first 3 panels were guys stuck in the hot dessert sand, the last panel was the Navy guys playing shuffleboard and asking the "Chief" to turn the air conditioning up. We had that one up on the board. And we were Navy.Posted by Dave at April 13, 2005 03:27 PM
That's the good thing about being in the Air Force. We always said 'if the enemy got thru the Marines and Army, it was time to leave.' The Navy rarely attended.Posted by ammobob at April 13, 2005 04:00 PM
If it doesn't turn up on line, I actually have a hard copy of the referenced "it sucks" multi-part cartoon... faxed to AFKN in 1993. I kept it, and will boot my scanner into working properly, if you need it.
One of the panels features an Army Aviation helo, and the pilot commenting "I'll bet it really sucks down there..."
If you find that 5 panel cartoon, post the link! I haven't seen that in years, but it's probably my favorite.Posted by Nonleg at April 13, 2005 05:52 PM
I have one in my company orderly room back in the states. But that does me absolutely no good here! :)
What is the quickest way to kill a Marine?
Throw sand on a wall and tell them to hit the Beach.
Well it was funny when I heard it. :)
My dad was in the Air Force in 1951-54 in Japan and Korea. He was the first to joke about how hard he did NOT have it. I made one of my Dad's jokes about the Air Force to an older member of my men's bible study. He laughed and said he was in the Air Force too. I later found out (from someone else) he was a crew member in C-130 gunships and helicopters (door gunner)in Viet Nam and was combat wounded twice by ground fire (not "John Kerry" wounds either). I apologized to him for speaking on a subject I knew nothing about. Just a thought.Posted by Californio at April 13, 2005 08:26 PM
We have always respected and been grateful for the work the folks in the other branches of the service, do, but we also loved the Air Force for these and many more reasons.
Once my Air Force recruiter husband was telling a special forces friend how good he's had it in the Air Force. Among other things, he said that in 19 years he'd never, ever slept in a tent.
"REally?" said the Special Forces friend. "You know, I don't think I've ever slept in a tent, either. Under a tree, yes. In a tent, no."
The AF was veddy veddy good to us.Posted by DeputyHeadmistress at April 13, 2005 09:02 PM
The Frog Prince is sitting on his lilypad and turns to his Sergeant at Arms, "I think I'll stay down here in the bog, it's more fun catching flies than living with a princess!"
(Courtesy of The Wall Street Journal!).
A soldier, a sailor, and an airman are using urinals in a latrine. The soldier finishes first. He stops at the sink, turns it on full blast, grabs the soap and works up a huge lather to wash his hands. He scrubs the first layer of skin off, finishes and cleans the sink, then dries his hand.
"At West Point we learn that cleanliness is next to Godliness!" He shouts at the sailor approaching the sink.
The sailor lets one drop of water fall from the faucet to his hand, takes a bit of soap, and manages to clean up. He dries his hands on a corner torn from a paper towell.
"At Annapolis, in order to prepare for months at sea, we learn thrift and conservation." He says proudly.
The airman finishes at the urinal, zips up and walks past the sinks to the door. Just before leaving he turns and says "At the Air Force Academy they teach us not to piss on our hands."Posted by Zoomie at April 13, 2005 11:24 PM
Here's a link to a poor copy...