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GI Joe has been taken hostage! Quick - call the Power Rangers!
I know a lot of you bastards are laughing about this out there, but Joe and I go way back, to before I joined the military. We're about the same age, but it seems like he's always been on duty, except for that >brief break in the '70s when he joined the Action Squad, or whatever that wimpy civilian outfit was called. Anyhow, it was Joe that taught me the importance of lifelike hair and kung fu grip, and I'm telling you this now: as God is my witness, I'm bringing him out.
Wish me luck.
By the way, I think a lot of you are dismissing this because he's a black GI Joe and not a white doll. That doesn't fly in this war, buddy. The color of your plastic doesn't make you any less of a man. It's what's inside that counts, and that Joe has heart. Look at his face - that's defiance, without a speck of fear.
I will not see this man sent to meet his maker like this.
I'll keep you updated. Greyhawk out.
b>Update: More here
Somepeople have entirely too much time on their hands. Stop having fun!Posted by Lucifer at February 1, 2005 10:55 PM
This is the funniest thing I've seen in days! Instapundit has links to others now, and the drink alert is definitely in effect before you click.
They blow up retarded kids and kidnap GI Joe. Now you know that these guys were probably the little peeping tom, booger eaters everybody always picked on in school.
I mean, everybody knows that the first step to being a mass murderer is to tear the heads off dolls, torture puppies and pick on weaker kids. If only their parents had seen the signs.Posted by kat-Missouri at February 1, 2005 11:54 PM
CNN Headline news just ran the story (7:30 pm EST) saying the hostage "may" be a doll and citing an unnamed toy maker. No picture though. Quick as lightning, those folks at MSM.Posted by Retread at February 2, 2005 12:47 AM
It's not a DOLL people - it's an ACTION FIGURE!Posted by John at February 2, 2005 01:19 AM
I understand that we are sending in the Rockem Sockem robots for an 'extraction'.
Kidding aside, these thugs are pathetic. I won't hold my breath for the truth to be broadcast on Al-Jazeera.Posted by SueRae at February 2, 2005 01:27 AM
Thought you might like to know the truth about the "captured soldier."
CindyPosted by Cindy at February 2, 2005 03:16 AM
The proper phrase is: All your GI Joe ARE belong to us. Just thought you'd like to know.Posted by SGT Ted at February 2, 2005 04:19 AM
"Hah! You will withdraw all your forces or we will set John Adam on fire, detonate firecrackers strapped to his body, and put him in the microwave for thirty min-" "SIR!" "GAH! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK FIRST?!" "Sorry, sir!" "...you didn't see anything, did you?" "No, sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again, sir!"
Sorry, had a "Spaceballs" moment.
I have a George W. Bush Pilot "action figure" prepped to fly the rescue mission. Honest guys, you cant make this stuff up. I think the insurgency has "jumped the shark".Posted by cptham at February 2, 2005 02:11 PM
I have not laughed this much in years. Do you thing Al Jazeera will get the Pulitzer Prize or maybe som kind of Nobel award for there on the spot reporting?
Posted by Judy at February 2, 2005 06:50 PM
I have some breaking news on this story....Will at February 2, 2005 06:54 PM
You can rest assured my friend the N.A F.T. (National Association For Toys) is not taking this lightly. We have mobilized every asset we have in our vast arsenal to free our black brother from further abuse from those terrible terroists. The Jeff Gordon action figure is patroling the streets of Bagdad in a newly re-armored Hum Vee even as we speak. If necessary we are fully prepared to pull up the Justice League of America to get this brave figurine free from their stinking clutches.Posted by Arathorn at February 2, 2005 07:46 PM Hide Comments | Show/Add Comments in Popup Window(13) | (Note: You must refresh main page to view newly posted comments here)