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This is going to be a long running series...
"I'm John Kerry, and I'm reporting for duty."
Outstanding! Continue to stand there while readers click you.
Oh, and don't buy into your press releases, Senator. Steer clear of the commoners.
Update: And unless three fingers is enough for you, don't try this at your local Wendys...
By the way, it's caption contest time. Have at it.
"Look, I'm taking your Frosty, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!"
Posted by Taxpayer at July 31, 2004 06:14 PMGeorge Bush is a draft dodger! And he's running a negative campaign!
Posted by Ronald McDonald at July 31, 2004 06:16 PMI won't shoot you with my finger, but I'll stab you in the back (if I get elected).
Posted by TomB at July 31, 2004 06:57 PMWhen I was your age I threw my effing medals away!
Posted by Laddy at July 31, 2004 06:57 PMI served in Vietnam and I'm taking those fries!
Posted by joey at July 31, 2004 06:58 PMAh-ah, I know what you're thinking, punk, did he flip flop six times or only five?
Posted by Carl Jung at July 31, 2004 07:00 PMListen up, Boy! When I'm your CIC you'll pay for disrespecting me.
Posted by Laddy at July 31, 2004 07:01 PM"Hey, can I have those medals? I lost mine."
Posted by Debbie E. at July 31, 2004 07:02 PMListen jar head, the bake sale money for your body armour is not taxable unless you earn over $200,000.
Posted by Dittybopper at July 31, 2004 07:02 PMVote for me or it's the last thing you do!
Posted by jrice at July 31, 2004 07:03 PMWait a minute while I get my camcorder so we can reenact our meeting.
Posted by Laddy at July 31, 2004 07:03 PM"I don't know what I want, I can't seem to make up my mind. What did YOU order?"
Posted by Natedogg at July 31, 2004 07:03 PM"That's one cute chest. Like John Edward's."
Posted by sld1776 at July 31, 2004 07:06 PM"Hey, turn around and check THAT out! I like big butts, and I cannot lie."
"If you had three purple hearts, you'd pin them right there!"
Posted by Zoot at July 31, 2004 07:08 PMGo ahead, pull my finger-I dare you! Did you know I served in Viet Nam?
You'd BETTER be using Heinz ketchup!!
Posted by Lord Whorfin at July 31, 2004 07:11 PM"Forget the video tape, I DID NOT say soldiers, I said marines."
Posted by Ray Rinaldi at July 31, 2004 07:11 PMHey, you've got something on your shirt.
No wait, no you don't.
Then again, maybe you do.
(...continues for five minutes...)
Posted by Rayonic at July 31, 2004 07:12 PMJohn Edwards and I have better hair than you!
Posted by Former CNN Watcher at July 31, 2004 07:12 PMHere's a caption for the first photo:
"No, no. I'd have brown eyes if I were full of shit up to the eyebrows, see? Mine are blue 'cause I'm a quarter cup short."
Posted by Michael Ubaldi at July 31, 2004 07:12 PMKerry: What can I do for you si.....
Marine: Shut up and get behind me sir.
Do you know who I am?
Posted by marzipan at July 31, 2004 07:15 PMThe marine was conflicted, there was a big ass in front of him demanding attention and a nice ass behind him demanding attention. His squadmate sympathises.
"I wasn't saluting, the lights were in my eyes."
"Is--is my daughter wearing a see-through dress!?"
John Kerry has reported for duty, expect to seem him around for about three months.
Marine looks upon Kerry with contempt as he is adressed in public while fellow Marine is so awed by Kerry's arogance he can't even take his eyes away from Kerry's finger pointing to look at chick's ass.
Posted by aaron at July 31, 2004 07:17 PMCaption for first photo: "Hey, is that the charisma I ordered back there?"
Posted by Jim at July 31, 2004 07:17 PMThe US Marines are the best.
Posted by tony steemson at July 31, 2004 07:19 PMNo, no, no! It's un, deux, trois . . . .
Posted by Nate Cardon at July 31, 2004 07:20 PM"Don't worry soldier,'Help is on the Way'."
(Insert picture of Mighty Mouse here).
Say, you didn't pick those ribbons up off the White House lawn?
Posted by David at July 31, 2004 07:24 PM"If I am elected President, I will send you home. But for now, you'll just have to climb in that Chevy you drove here."
Posted by Brian Jones at July 31, 2004 07:25 PMGeorge bush has killed over 1000 of my fellow brothers. I hope and pray you evict the coke-snorting, draft-dodging lying son of a bitch this November...SIR!
Posted by dick at July 31, 2004 07:26 PMYou should vote for me before you vote against me.
Posted by Kevin at July 31, 2004 07:26 PMWell, It's just a bit complicated to spell out, so just look:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/Mamamontezz/KerryMarine.jpg
Losely based on the Cannibal in the Butcher Shop joke.
Thanks for the head's up, Greyhawk!
Posted by Mamamontezz at July 31, 2004 07:27 PMI'm gonna fingerbang bang you into my life.
Marine, you like to fingerbang and it's alright.
Posted by DJ Unstable at July 31, 2004 07:27 PMDick:
Too bad that wasn't their reaction.
Posted by Matt at July 31, 2004 07:34 PM"Semper le Waffle!"
Posted by Midgard at July 31, 2004 07:37 PM"Hey, did I mention that I served in Viet Nam?"
Posted by Dacotti at July 31, 2004 07:37 PM"No, I won't sign a Form 180 to release records about my medals, so quit asking!"
Posted by Preston at July 31, 2004 07:38 PM"You look just like that S.O.B. Secret Service agent that knocked me over when I was skiing!"
Posted by inkling at July 31, 2004 07:40 PMKerry channels Niedermeier from "Animal House":
"A PLEDGE PIN?! On your UNIFORM?!"
Posted by BarCodeKing at July 31, 2004 07:41 PM
As a US Marine myself, I can say this categorically:
John Kerry has virtually NO support among us.
Bush is our man, and I am damn proud of what we have accomplished the last year.
John Kerry and his pathetic party hacks can move to France for all I care. I don't consider them real Americans.
Posted by Semper Fi at July 31, 2004 07:43 PM"I'm telling you. If someone jolts you while your cleaning your nails with a Ka-Bar you CAN get a purple heart."
Posted by bains at July 31, 2004 07:54 PMSee the scar on my finger?? That's what got me my first Purple Heart!
Posted by arlo at July 31, 2004 07:57 PMThose are nice alright, but they're not as pretty as my three purple hearts. Hey, did I mention I have three purple hearts
Posted by acassa at July 31, 2004 08:02 PMYou really should consider Botox...by the way, did I tell you my story about Genghis Khan?
Posted by H. Dean at July 31, 2004 08:06 PMMarine to Kerry "No Sir, that is definately NOT the finger we use when we think of you."
Posted by Jim at July 31, 2004 08:06 PMI'm Rick James, B*tch!
Posted by soybomb at July 31, 2004 08:11 PMHey Dick, I just read your post to one of my two sons in the Marines. He says you can kiss his entire white ass. He also said that his friends in Iraq would say the same thing, after they "beat the living $^%& out of you". That's probably why the Dems are doing everything in their power to keep overseas military personnel from voting in November, eh?
Posted by Dacotti at July 31, 2004 08:14 PM"I actually voted for the $87 million before I vote against it."
"Good to go, Sir. I'll be sure to vote for you before I vote against you."
http://www.paulieworld.com/blog
Posted by Capt Trevett at The Commons at July 31, 2004 08:14 PMeh voila! the jacques chirac finger-pointing photo pose works for me too!
Posted by annette at July 31, 2004 08:19 PMThis is what I learned in Boston, I walk out on the check and chumps like you pay my bill.
Posted by perfectsense at July 31, 2004 08:23 PMKerry: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?
Marine: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese sir?
Kerry: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the f*ck a Quarter Pounder is.
Marine: Then what do they call it sir?
Kerry: They call it a "Royale" with cheese.
Marine: A "Royale" with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac?
Kerry: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "le Big-Mac".
Marine: "Le Big-Mac". Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Biggie?
Kerry: I dunno, I didn't go into a Wendy's. That hayseed Edwards is the one who likes Wendy's.
1st Photo: "Dismissed!"
2nd Photo, Kerry to Marine: "Nunquam Fi" (never faithful)
Posted by R Pittman at July 31, 2004 08:43 PMFirst pic: Is anyone out there? Hello?
Posted by richard mcenroe at July 31, 2004 08:44 PM"OK, you're the soldier who bet you could eat two biggie burgers and four biggie shakes without throwing up. How'd you do son?"
"Fine, sir, until I saw you."
Posted by Clyde at July 31, 2004 08:45 PM1st photo:
"Dismissed!"
2nd photo, Kerry to Marine:
"Nunquam Fi"
translation: (never faithful)
Hey, look, Hillary was in Iraq and she said you guys don't mind being interrupted while you're trying to eat...
Posted by richard mcenroe at July 31, 2004 08:45 PMHey, your'e a Marine, right? Demon Dogs! Hee hee, Woof, right? A Corps of One? The old Leatherbacks! Jar...something.
I'm not annoying you am I?
Posted by RTO Trainer at July 31, 2004 08:51 PM"When I'm the Commander In Chief, I'll show you where you can stick that '100% Bush' line."
Posted by Grim at July 31, 2004 08:51 PM"Funny, that doesn't look like a French uniform to me..."
Posted by Tim at July 31, 2004 08:51 PMJacques Chirac told me, and I believe him, that "I am no cheese eating surrender monkey!" Do you understand me?!! I am a hero...I was in Viet Nam. Now wipe that Bush like sneer off your face. You bug me, you..you.. and I was in Viet Nam.....
Posted by holyhumpa at July 31, 2004 08:52 PMfor $87 B, I'd think you guys would eat better than that
Posted by BoyNamedGoo at July 31, 2004 08:53 PMWhen I'm done with you, you'll be wearing this new MALE BURQUA I designed!
(see NASA BLUE SUIT PHOTO = Kerry's models early designs)
If you want to earn three purple hearts, do not inflict any of your wounds here.
Posted by Joe at July 31, 2004 08:58 PM"See this finger,soldier? This finger served"
Posted by Peter at July 31, 2004 09:04 PMI did too get wounded in Vietnam......and, and you better remember to say you saw me get wounded, and, and that I really do derserve those purple hearts! Effing jarhead!
Posted by Pamela at July 31, 2004 09:06 PMCaption: " Boy, get Teresa her ketchup now!"
Posted by wolf terner at July 31, 2004 09:14 PM"I want you to be the last Marine to die in Iraq!"
Posted by htom at July 31, 2004 09:25 PM"Would you like that finger handed back to you in five pieces, or ten, mister?"
"He want's ten, sergeant!"
No quote for Mister Kerry, since he'd just deny he said it later. Or was that his paycheck, er, wife?
Posted by the Humble Devildog at July 31, 2004 09:32 PMSon, I was born into wealth, educated in Switzerland, and my wife is one of the richest women on the planet, otherwise I'm just a grunt like you."
Posted by Rob at July 31, 2004 09:36 PM"If he touches me, he dies"
Posted by Nukevet at July 31, 2004 09:48 PMLook at my finger. It would like to pick you up for a lucky date. Wanna be my veep?
Posted by Carol Herman at July 31, 2004 09:50 PMKerry: And its one two three four what are you fighting for? Dont know and dont give a damn next stop is vietnam....ooh wait hold up. Sorry soldier a little flashback from my Vietnam days. You know Im a Vietnam Vet hero dont you soldier. Saaaaay are you a baby killer like I was????
Marine thinking to himself: First Im gonna step on this bug, then Im gonna grind him into the deck then Im throw his boyfriend through the bulkhead!
Pierre
Posted by Pierre Legrand at July 31, 2004 09:55 PMMarine: thinking.... "You are one lucky sonofabitch that I'm in uniform.....and that there's witnesses ......
Posted by Mark at July 31, 2004 10:11 PMend the contest. bar code king is the hands down winner! just remember. niedermeier - DEAD!
Posted by steve at July 31, 2004 10:15 PM"Damm you are prettier than Johnny, want to come back to my place for some one on one?"
Posted by Harley W Daugherty at July 31, 2004 10:23 PM"Nah, I used Super 8 son. And I could have gotten footage of me busting a cap in that wounded gooks head but my cameraman got wounded. Damn loafer!"
Posted by Rob at July 31, 2004 10:42 PMGet that damn finger out of my face, sir!
Posted by thirdfinger at July 31, 2004 10:46 PMLook, don't you disrespect me bitch! Cousin Itt's got my back!
Posted by Ap0c at July 31, 2004 10:47 PM"We're gonna be stronger at home and more respected abroad, boy -- now drop and give me 50!"
Posted by JB at July 31, 2004 10:49 PM"I do support the military. I voted to support you before I voted against you, before I voted for you, before...ah...um...oh he##, even I can't keep track anymore."
Posted by Jenny at July 31, 2004 10:52 PMDemonstration of Proper Technique of Devil Dog Mesmerizing Frog Before Devouring
Posted by Mike at July 31, 2004 11:03 PMPull my finger.
Posted by Bruce at July 31, 2004 11:06 PMI STILL HAVE MY MEDALS ....I THREW SOMEBODY ELSE'S! REALLY !
(MARINE thinking FOAD)
Assistant manager, John Kerry, informs a customer that they do NOT serve "freedom fries" on his watch.
Posted by Dave at July 31, 2004 11:09 PMI wouldn't even give you 87 cents. . . .
Posted by jcrue at July 31, 2004 11:09 PM... so you see son, when I said 'atrocities', I was referring to the inadequate funding for our boys in Vietnam. Um, so where was I?
Posted by Gordon at July 31, 2004 11:10 PM"May I take your medals off your chest and throw them over the White House fence?"
Posted by Chad Evans at July 31, 2004 11:14 PMAre those real medals or the kind you get for self-inflicted wounds?
Posted by Sergio at July 31, 2004 11:20 PMWhy the long face, sir?
Posted by Geraldo at July 31, 2004 11:25 PMWhat I really would like to be is a proctologist...
Posted by whitebread at July 31, 2004 11:28 PM"Yes, this is my stinkfinger. I 'check the oil' on my running mate a couple of times a day. It's almost time for another grope session"
Posted by Porky's Part XII at August 1, 2004 12:19 AMHoly shit, Marine! Is that a froot loop Service Ribbon? Did I mention I had three of those? I lost two over the White House fence...
Posted by DarthVOB at August 1, 2004 12:31 AMSomebody already said it, but this picture has "do you know who I am" written all over it.
My favorite, though, was "I can't decide. What did you order?"
Posted by Blackjack at August 1, 2004 12:35 AMEnsign Kerry reporting for duty, sir! You're the officer on duty? Send someone to fetch the rest of my things on board; I left them on the pier. Here it is, midnight; it's been a long day, and one just got tired of carrying them, you know how it is, and besides, that's what the enlisteds are for. Did I mention I know the Kennedys? So this surfboard won't be in the way here, will it? Didn't think so. Yeah, I'm glad to be aboard the _Gridley._
Posted by Clayton D. Jones at August 1, 2004 12:38 AMWell if I become President I will give Medals of Honor to all of my hippie band of brothers! They are the true heros if you ask me and my boy Michael Moore, I lived F911 jarhead!
Posted by bags75 at August 1, 2004 12:45 AM"I can buy and sell your ass a billion times over"
Posted by ed at August 1, 2004 12:50 AMMy friend Jacques thinks you would look much better wearing a blue helmet.
Posted by edpi at August 1, 2004 12:50 AMDick, A lot of us are not as lean, nor as mean, but still Marines. We can still shove comments like yours in a place where you would not like it.
Kerry should be ashamed for accosting those men where he knew that he could not be avoided. So he reported for duty huh? Wonder if he and Edwards will make any rollcalls in the Senate in the next few months
The safety is on Sir
Posted by Ian at August 1, 2004 12:52 AM"A white t-shirt? Hey you know what the French do with those? Oh,....wait,...never mind,..."
"(mumbling), damned Marines never did understand diplomacy."
Posted by puggs at August 1, 2004 12:54 AM"listen, jarhead, I want a photo op and YOU're it. Shut the fuck up and do what you're told. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM???"
Pure Kerry.
Posted by DaveP. at August 1, 2004 01:04 AMAnd if I catch you torturing any Iraqi prisoners, I'll have your head!
Posted by Karen H. at August 1, 2004 01:10 AMThe word is M E T R O S E X U A L - T R A N S G E N D E R and don't forget it !!!
Posted by 13times at August 1, 2004 01:25 AMNot really a caption, but am I the only one who's reminded of that photo-op stunt Saddam pulled with that British kid (detainee) on the eve of the Gulf War?
Posted by azlibertarian at August 1, 2004 01:35 AMLook Jarhead !! You'll be working for me.
Posted by Jack at August 1, 2004 01:43 AM"I'm John Kerry and I'm a retarded moron."
Posted by Reek Stankleberry at August 1, 2004 01:46 AMPathetique!
A la Tartuffe!
Posted by TomCom at August 1, 2004 01:50 AM1st Pic: Oh, I thought I saw Arriana Huffington, Is it true that she has more money than Theresa?
2nd Pic: Is that the medal you got for the war I voted for, before I voted against voting for, while I voted to fund before I voted not to fund? I was in Vietnam.
Posted by kilabe at August 1, 2004 01:59 AM(kerry photo with Marines)
Hey - don't you know who I am? I go first. Give me your meal.
Posted by Emma at August 1, 2004 02:01 AMPIC1 Rich dorks of the world. I salute you.
PIC2 I want to keep the thumb and this long nose picking finger please.
Posted by gunner at August 1, 2004 02:22 AMIs this thing on?
Posted by Amos at August 1, 2004 02:28 AMYou better realize who you are talking to. If you are threatening me I will duck and run and let my friends fight the battle for me.
SlagleRock Out!
Posted by SlagleRock at August 1, 2004 02:29 AMNow see here. You mean you didn't torch any huts in Iraq? You didn't shoot any unarmed civilians? You didn't slice off any ears? And you call yourself a Marine?
Posted by Fresh Air at August 1, 2004 02:36 AMkerry channeling eric cartman: respect mah authoratah!
Posted by MB at August 1, 2004 02:48 AMTake that finger away from my chest you broke-dick, traitor son-of-a-bitch!! You need a glass belly button. Your heads up your ass so far you need a view...
Posted by Marine (VN era) at August 1, 2004 02:52 AM"While you were at the front, I was in diapers fingerbanging Mary Jane RottenCrotch with this finger... um, I mean that the other way around. "
"Back off. There's a nail on the end of this, and I'm not afraid to use it. It won't be the first time."
"Step off - or I'll call you a war criminal too."
"Just give me *one* minute and I'll be happy to explain why I voted against the M-1, the Bradley, the Striker, the M-110, the Harrier, the Blackhawk, the Apache, missile defense, and the $87 billion to fund your battlefield operations in Iraq."
"Smell it. Smell it. Smell the glove."
Posted by Al_Maviva at August 1, 2004 02:53 AM"Can I take a bite of your Big Kahunaburger?"
Posted by Lastango at August 1, 2004 03:18 AMVeeshir wins
Posted by GB at August 1, 2004 03:45 AMIf we go into combat together, please dont frag ME
Posted by sleestak at August 1, 2004 03:58 AM"My medals, er.. ribbons - wherever the hell they are - are prettier than yours."
Posted by KatthyP at August 1, 2004 04:04 AMPic2 ... and as for qualifications, as a Lieutenant, Junior Grade, I commanded 5 men on a Swift boat in Vietnam for three and a half months, not to mention 35 years of experience after that.
damn Marzipan beat me to it.
Tereeeeza will buy you armor while
the camera turns away.
"I am NOT a girlie man!"
"Whaddya mean I can't come into your Wendy's?"
Posted by Pj at August 1, 2004 04:18 AMFirst photo:
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout."
"I'm John Kerry, not howdy doody".
Second photo:
"Is this bugging you? I'm not touching you. Is this bugging you? I'm not touching you......."
"Uh, it appears I've not thought this er, touching a Marine that wants me dismembered thing through very well..... oh Jeeves, give this man a stack of Teresa's money- chop chop, boy!"
"Uh, son? Why are you growling at me?"
another for Pic 2:
Marine (Standing): We've found finger guns to be usless in Iraq. Sir.
Marine (Sitting): {Memo to self -- don't go hunting with this guy, its a habit.)
And I'm gonna make sure you don't get to vote this year either.
Posted by Ken Hahn at August 1, 2004 04:42 AMDon't you know who I am?????
Posted by Deaconess at August 1, 2004 05:05 AMMarine Thought Balloon:
(I must control myself, Say only "Yes Sir" and "No Sir", but my body language can speak for me.)
"Is that a pledge pin on your uniform?"
Posted by John Lance at August 1, 2004 05:31 AM"No, when I said I had a little Heinz on my finger, I wasn't talking about the ketchup"
Posted by mateo_g at August 1, 2004 05:40 AMFirst photo:
"Is that Michael Moore? He should be my VP!"
Second Photo:
"I could buy your whole family with just one of Teresa's credit cards!"
"I have three maids and my shirts still don't look that good."
First Photo---"I'm John Kerry, and I'm reporting for duty Mr. Kofi Annan, sir"
Second Photo---The picture speaks for itself.
Posted by Pat at August 1, 2004 05:44 AMI see you're in the military. Did you know I served in Vietnam?
Posted by Tommylaw at August 1, 2004 05:47 AM1st: "...and i feel this whole convention is filled to here with ****."
2nd: "...and then there was the time i got a medal for chasing an unarmed wounded VC through the woods and shot him in the back. Are you going to finish those fries? Stories about me make me hungry. Pass the Heinz."
Posted by MJLange at August 1, 2004 06:06 AMMany of you may not be familiar with Mr. Kerry’s contrived military record and post service treachery. Before making your voting decision I urge you to take the time to study our case.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth has been formed to counter the false "war crimes" charges John Kerry repeatedly made against Vietnam veterans who served in our units and elsewhere, and to accurately portray Kerry's brief tour in Vietnam as a junior grade Lieutenant. We speak from personal experience -- our group includes men who served beside Kerry in combat as well as his commanders. Though we come from different backgrounds and hold varying political opinions, we agree on one thing: John Kerry misrepresented his record and ours in Vietnam and therefore exhibits serious flaws in character and lacks the potential to lead.
We regret the need to do this. Most Swift boat veterans would like nothing better than to support one of our own for America's highest office, regardless of whether he was running as a Democrat or a Republican. However, Kerry's phony war crimes charges, his exaggerated claims about his own service in Vietnam, and his deliberate misrepresentation of the nature and effectiveness of Swift boat operations compels us to step forward.
For more than thirty years, most Vietnam veterans kept silent as we were maligned as misfits, addicts, and baby killers. Now that a key creator of that poisonous image is seeking the Presidency we have resolved to end our silence.
The time has come to set the record straight.
Swift Boat Veterans For Truth
My qualifications for commenting on Mr Kerry’s service are as follows: BM1 USN September 1965 to November 1969. I extended my enlistment and volunteered for Mobile Riverine duty in Vietnam. I served as a Boat Captain and Patrol Officer in US Navy Task Forces CTF 117 and 116 from November of 1968 to November of 1969. River Division 92, Nov of 68 to March of 69 and was a Plankowner in RivDiv 595/153 and served there from March 69 to November 90. I logged about 20 multi-day assault missions and over 140 combat patrols, participating in about 50 firefights. I was a awarded a Silver Star, a Navy Commendation Medal w/ Combat “V”, and a Purple Heart as well as several unit citations including 3 Presidential Unit Citations. I also have a piece of self-inflicted “friendly fire shrapnel” in my stomach for which I was too embarrassed, apparently unlike Mr Kerry, to request a Purple Heart.
Please do what you can to spread the word about Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
Hey, want me to show you how to burn down some vietnamese non-com hooches?
Posted by Buster at August 1, 2004 06:39 AMWhen I'm your Commander-in-Chief you WILL learn to speak French and learn how to surrender with a certain, oh how do you say, haute panache!
Posted by ColoradoConservtive at August 1, 2004 06:46 AMKerry: "I support you guys 100%, but, as a former military man myself, I cannot support what you are doing."
Marine: "That's fine, sir. I support my commander in chief and country 100%. I disagree with everything you say, sir, but as a marine, I will fight for your right to change your mind every other day."
(I would like to note how it sickens me to see the utter look of contempt on kerry's face for this man and the total arrogance he displayed by interrupting these soldiers for his own personal gain in a photo op. God bless these men. They are what America truly represents)
Posted by Angela Baird at August 1, 2004 07:04 AM(To the Marine):
"You know, I used to be in the Boy Scouts!"
What do you mean when am I going to "be leavin' America"?
K: "And then the Viet Cong overan my position and all I had left to shoot was my finger."
USMC: "But weren't you swift boat, sir?
K: "Well yes, 'Viet Cong', and 'over ran' were just figures of speech. See I still have my finger. You can't deny that.
Posted by M. Simon at August 1, 2004 09:21 AMI just read Dick's comment.
It is no wonder he is ashamed of his last name.
Posted by M. Simon at August 1, 2004 09:39 AMOT:
Uh, you guys really military on this blog?
Shouldn't you be keeping GMT? Or as I prefer the American acronymn for Coordinated UNiversal Time.
It appears your clock is GDT or Z+1.
Posted by M. Simon at August 1, 2004 09:59 AM"Pull my finger if you want to hear about my tour in Vietnam."
I hate America, and no amount of young boys in uniform will change my mind.
Posted by Victory Now Please at August 1, 2004 01:09 PMHey, nice uniform. Those would look good on my French soldiers back home, where I am from.
Posted by Victory Now Please at August 1, 2004 01:10 PMGo ahead, poke the bear.
Posted by Joatmoaf at August 1, 2004 02:32 PMYou've got 1 second to take that finger out of my face before I force you to stick it where the sun doesn"t shine.
Posted by Joe Emerson at August 1, 2004 02:49 PMJohn Kerry : No! We had waffles for breakfast
Posted by MorningSun at August 1, 2004 03:15 PM"You want the truth, Senator? You want the truth!? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"
Posted by McGehee at August 1, 2004 03:29 PM"Now are these ribbons, or medals?"
Posted by John at August 1, 2004 03:37 PM"You aren't Jeeves! Where is my butler?"
"I actually fought against North Viet Nam before I fought for it."
Posted by roy at August 1, 2004 03:51 PMMarine's Thoughts, ala Tay-ray-zuh:
Take that finger and shove it!
Posted by sunshinegirl at August 1, 2004 03:59 PMRoy, that was great.
Posted by aaron at August 1, 2004 04:08 PMI fought against North Viet Nam before I fought for it.
Posted by edpi at August 1, 2004 04:12 PMTrust me I will screw you just like I did my Viet Nam buddies!
Posted by Patti Patton-Bader at August 1, 2004 04:29 PMWow, is that a camcorder, I'll bet you Marines can do some real "soldiering" with that. In my days of "soldiering" in the Navy all I had was an 8mm camera.
Posted by Pile On® at August 1, 2004 04:56 PMListen Marine, I served with Jane Fonda and you sir are no Jane Fonda!
Posted by Tom K at August 1, 2004 05:05 PMGreyhawk, apologize in advance for the language, but I can't resist:
Marine [thinking to himself]:
"We're Marines. We took Baghdad. Kerry ain't sh*t."
http://marinecorpsmoms.com/archives/000212.html
Posted by Cassandra at August 1, 2004 05:27 PMKerry: I don't care if you are Marines.
Damnit when I'm President you are going to wear those cute little beret's just like the Army boys do.
We can save alot of money if you point like this and say "BANG BANG."
Posted by pa_scoots at August 1, 2004 07:30 PMCome on you big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
This time his panties are in a crack
over in a place call Iraq.
So, put down you books,
And pick up a gun,
We're all gonna have a lotta fun.
And it's one, two, three, what are we fighting for?
Don't asked me and I don't give jack,
Next stop is in Iraq.
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates.
Well we got no time to wonder why -- whopee we are going to die.
"Reporting for duty" ,eh?
Then why don't you go back and finish your tour, you f*cking pansy!
Sorry, I should have clarified that the above was what the Marine was thinking.
Posted by doc Russia at August 1, 2004 08:31 PMJohn Kerry on why he doesn't need this mans vote.: "I am a bugger. I will use this finger to get all the votes I need. John Edwards loved it and Terezza said it tasted better with Heinz ketchup"
Posted by marty b at August 1, 2004 09:27 PMKerry: "Yes, I do believe Rap music is pretty important son
Marine: "Uh..who's your favorite rapper sir?"
Kerry: "Hmmm...(long pause) A Sista Souja comes to mind"
**Ever wonder why the Press didn't take advantage of that 'gotcha moment' and ask Kerry to name one or two rappers? Had it been GW they certainly would have.
Posted by Rob at August 1, 2004 09:59 PM
"By the way, did you know that I served in Vietnam?"
"Rico--you kneel down behind him and I'll push him over you."
"Sir, lucky your Secret Service detail is here, is all I can say."
Marine in foreground: "This suit giving you trouble, Jimmy?"
--furious
Posted by furious_a at August 1, 2004 10:42 PM"And I got my third Purple Heart and an early trip home from Vietnam when I cut this finger here changing the tape in my 8mm camera."
Posted by ThePrecinctChair at August 1, 2004 11:41 PMKerry: "And when I was in uniform, I'll tell you..."
Marine: "Senator, SIR! IF you do not at once remove your finger from that area immediately proximate to this uniform and this Marine, I WILL be forced to break if off and stick it where your brains have made bivouac, SIR! Do we understand each other, SIR!"
Kerry: "...why then I just jumped off my swift boat and..."
*CRACK*
Posted by spd rdr at August 1, 2004 11:44 PM
What a coincidence! I used to have some of those... but then I didn't - but now I do.
Posted by AHA at August 1, 2004 11:47 PMSir,
You interrupted my lunch and I am not going to be all that picky about what I eat in place of it. So get that effing finger off my chest.
"I am Senator Kerry and do you know where my finger has been?"
"You know, if I had stayed for a full year in 'Nam I would have died of a self inflictred wound or my men would have fragged me."
"Great idea sir. We will use your involvement in the VVAW as inspiration IF you become CIC."
Posted by La Femme Crickita at August 1, 2004 11:57 PMKerry:
Hey, check out the ass on that chick behind you.
No, don't look yet, NOW LOOK!
When I did this to Edwards wife, my finger disappeared.
Posted by jj shaka at August 2, 2004 01:53 AMFWIW, I have to vote for this entry:
Marine to Kerry "No Sir, that is definitely NOT the finger we use when we think of you."
Posted by: Jim at July 31, 2004 08:06 PM
You're blocking my view of that fine can, baby-killer.
Posted by carpet_lanny at August 2, 2004 03:03 AMHey, ya'know I threw medals much like those over the Whitehouse fence back in the 1970's when I was protesting you baby-killers
Posted by EgbertSouse at August 2, 2004 03:10 AMhttp://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20040730/i/r3721599793.jpg
There is no joy in Mudville.
Mighty Kerry hasstruck out.
My entry is in and posted at the Slaughterhouse. Click my name and take a look.
SlagleRock Out!
Posted by SlagleRock at August 2, 2004 03:27 AMKerry to Sgt:
You're slipping Sgt! There was a time if I stuck a finger in a Marine's face, I'd be practicing proctology, on myself.
"Yes, no, maybe. Sorry, what was the question?"
Posted by Tom at August 2, 2004 04:39 AMphoto 1:
"anybody seen a coherent foreign policy around here?"
"They pull your moral compass out of an incision just about here."
"boy, my chances look pretty small from here"
Posted by spidly at August 2, 2004 09:53 AM"...like these, medals like THESE, waddaya mean I can't BUY medals LIKE THESE?"
Posted by Carridine at August 2, 2004 10:54 AM"I will take that one and that one and ...oh a Biggie Fries!"
Posted by Paul at August 2, 2004 11:50 AMYou better hope I don't find out which one of you replaced my French fries with Freedom fries.
Posted by kermit at August 2, 2004 12:19 PMMarine blinks in morse code spelling:
T O R T U R E
Kerry Makes a Point: Enron Corp., the Houston-based energy firm that touched off a financial, legal and political scandal when it declared bankruptcy in December 2001, remains the top career patron of President George W. Bush, whose prolific fundraising in 2003 shattered all previous records for candidates. Enron's employees and political action committee have given more than $600,000 to Bush over the course of his political career, according to a new Center for Public Integrity book, The Buying of the President 2004 (Harper Collins). - January 8, 2004
Posted by Ghost Dansing at August 2, 2004 01:25 PMKerry Making a Point: Bush himself fancies himself as something of a former small business owner. He did drive several oil companies into the ground while his father was trying to keep him out of his hair during his twelve years as Vice President and President. So technically, this could be perceived as accurate. Yet unlike every single other small business owner, Bush had his family fortune of millions to fall back on each time he went under.
Posted by Ghost Dansing at August 2, 2004 01:27 PMKerry Making a Point: Dubya is seldom in doubt, but is frequently wrong.
Posted by Ghost Dansing at August 2, 2004 01:29 PM...now the red ones, they get plenty of distance but no real altitude. The gold ones tend to spin on the updraft and boomerang if you're not careful. It's the blue ones--they're the whole package, baby. Plenty of loft and boy do they travel!
Posted by Kyle at August 2, 2004 01:37 PMHey, Ghost,
Did you know that the UN Oil for Food program, which touched off a "financial, legal and political scandal," raised over $6,000,000,000 for, and remained the top career patron of, President Saddam Hussein in the "Hussein/Hussein'03" Campaign?
You can read about it in the book, "The Buying of the UN." (Nopublisher)
;-)
Posted by Tom at August 2, 2004 01:41 PMSee, they don't need vests. This doesn't even hurt, does it soldier?
Posted by kyle at August 2, 2004 01:45 PMKerry Makes a Point: Even Dubya now seems to realize that antagonizing allies is a bad idea. In fact, since the dawn of recorded history, just about everyone has recognized this.
Posted by Ghost Dansing at August 2, 2004 01:51 PMKerry Makes a Point: The Democrats want an America that is "respected in the world."
Posted by Ghost Dansing at August 2, 2004 01:54 PMOh man. Kerry's violating the arm length rule, and is very close to poking that Marine in the chest. It looks a lot like he's trying to pick a fight, and I doubt he is entitled to having secret service agents watching his back either. Plus that group of Marines could misconstrue his gesture as threatening to shoot the one standing
Posted by roger at August 2, 2004 04:56 PMDid you get permission from Chirac before declaring war on that food?
Posted by Tony at August 2, 2004 05:22 PMThe picture makes me think that either marine (aside from the constitutionally-mandated minimum age of 40) would make a much better president than Mr. Kerry. And that that is the last thing in the world that would ever even cross John Kerry's mind.
Posted by Matthew Goggins at August 2, 2004 07:01 PMI don't CARE what George Bush did! No turkey for you!
(Of course even though Kerry's turkey will be fake the media will say it was real ...)
Posted by Gobble Gobble at August 2, 2004 08:16 PM"Sempre Fries?"
Posted by Jeffrey Ogan at August 2, 2004 08:56 PMI said... unclench that fist!
Posted by blackroyal at August 2, 2004 11:03 PMPull my finger leatherneck.
Posted by EgbertSouse at August 3, 2004 12:21 AMHi There. What you eating, a Wendy's Single? Me too. Well, I ordered one before I unordered one. But we're a like.
Well, not exactly alike Tell me, did you ever serve in Vietnam?
(Constitution say president must be 35 years of age, not 40)
Thought of sitting marine: "Uh-oh, I've seen that look on Sarge's face before. This guy is gonna lose that finger in about 5 seconds…"
Posted by Winsome at August 3, 2004 01:39 AMRespected abroad, against carbohydrates at home.
Posted by Cog at August 3, 2004 01:45 AM"I don't need to respect this uniform. You weren't going to vote for me anyway and neither would anyone who supports the military."
Posted by Jack of Clubs at August 3, 2004 02:50 AMYou know why we had Marines on board ship?? Because sheep were too obvious !
Posted by Randy at August 3, 2004 05:11 AMyayaya
Posted by yayaya at August 3, 2004 01:17 PMYou have a tiny bit of ketchup riiiiiiiight... there.
Posted by zo at August 3, 2004 02:29 PM"You better stand at attention punk! I'm the war hero around here!"
Posted by Dennydog at August 3, 2004 05:25 PMSmartass jarheads like that, who value globalism and reforming the failed and ignorant of the world over the interests of their own country and fellow citizens, are a great reason why every citizen should have their own firearms and be well-versed in their usage.
Posted by wantthe$87billionback at August 3, 2004 07:30 PMYo mama's a drill sargent and wears a camo
thong. I know!
If I go to the bathroom and spill hot coffee on my balls, can I sue Wendys *and* get a fourth Purple Heart?
Posted by Laurence Simon at August 4, 2004 02:50 PMWhat the Marine is thinking -
"I don't care if you are running for President, if you don't get that finger out of my chest I'm
going to stuff you in one of those french fry containers."
What Kerry is probably saying -
"You better enjoy it while you can Sarge, because if I get elected you AND General Hagee
will be working for Kofi Annan."
Look at the booger on my finger!
Posted by DR at August 6, 2004 05:04 AMI gonna tear your f*cking head off and sh*t down your neck, sir!
Posted by bill at August 6, 2004 05:41 AM"I always wanted a Good Conduct Medal" but the Navy said I couldn't have one. I'll take yours."
Posted by SE at August 12, 2004 02:35 AMDid I tell you guys I have the gay vote?
I had my distinguished colleague, Barney, backed right down past that second knuckle there!
No, that's not a Vietnam wound, it's a gerbel bite!
And, when I'm President, America will be respected throughout the world. You know,
like when Jimmy Carter, and Hillary Clinton were President!
And furthermore, I hate rice. It is a pain in the butt.
Posted by Jed at August 12, 2004 04:21 AMMake sure those ribbons are secured Marine. Mine accidentally fell off in DC, right after I got back from Nam. I was lucky this time as they didn't cut me again.
Posted by Foster-USMC-RVN-1/LT-69-70 at August 23, 2004 12:59 AMKERRY BEAT THE SYSTEM (with the help of the system, NYT ect)
It is a great mistake and a fraudulent one at that to buy into/accept/reason that somehow because Kerry went to Viet Nam, (in spite of whatever happened during his four month "visit")---that---that in itself somehow makes him honorable, noble, ----ad nauseum---an effort calculated by himself and his supporting media to give him some kind of recognition of his "service" thus transposing him into "war hero status". Never mind that he lied about it before/during/after!---and the "hero" is purely fictional, a perverted calculation, suspiciously based on and influenced by the equally dubious film, Apocalypse Now. Much to Hollywood's delight, the Kerry/Sheen character is the central casting hero being foisted upon the masses with no basis in fact, just slick Hollywood pretense all under the welcoming guise of the media, ---both entities--- driven by a hatred of and desire to depose, President Bush.
In an effort to want to put VN behind us, there is too great of rush to sweep under the rug the facts and to gloss over Kerry's motives, simply give him the benefit of the doubt and agree that his "service" was noble, something to be proud of.
If Kerry had genuinely volunteered to go to VN, put his life in some sort of danger via that action and then became disillusioned with the war---that would be one thing.
BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED
Kerry is a premeditated, scheming opportunist---has been all his life and continues the ploy with his carefully engineered, central casting of "Kerry, the war hero, Kerry the man's man" and all that type of Hollywood fluff.
We have all seen Kerry in our every day lives. Remember back to school. Kerry was/is the "brown-noser", "apple polisher", the loser always trying to take credit for someone else's achievements, the rodent who would stab anyone in the back to get notice, attention, credit. Kerry is Sgt Bilko. Kerry is the athlete who "enhances" his lacking ability with performance drugs to win. The Kerry twisted persona can justify anything to win---to him it matters not how he wins, only that he wins, he will crush anything that gets in his way, not from his own strength and courage, but using money from his sugar mamma to buy what he can't achieve on his own.
Kerry is the personification of "Catch 22". Kerry is a "user", ---wives, people, fantasies, ever upward climbing. How to get ahead in business without even trying, or, more personalized in Kerry's case, how to steal an election through fraud and deceit. And watch, if and when he loses, he will not go down as easy as Algore. Kerry will fight to contest the outcome, even if it is a 50 State sweep for the President,--- already Kerry has the mechanism in place to undo the election results, teams of lawyers throughout the U.S. ready to pounce, U.N. observers to make sure a "fair" election takes place(translation, one that delivers the Presidency to Kerry).
What Kerry actually did in Viet Nam was realize he could improve his credentials for eventually gaining the White House as his hero JFK before him did, by creating "another" PT109 episode. Kerry tried to avoid actual service, asking for deferments etc, but when it become inevitable that he should go, he then looked around for the "safest" way to create "Kerry the war hero". Initially, by volunteering for Naval duty, his thinking was he could stay out of harm's way by remaining off shore in a big naval vessel, which he did for a while. But being another face in the crowd on a large Navy vessel cramped his style, made it almost impossible to dream up ways to put in for phony medals, kept him under too much scrutiny to where he couldn't creat his destined "hero" image. Then, it occurred to him that piloting a swift boat could be used to create even more of an appearance of "combat" while not exposing himself to any real danger, at the time he applied, the swift boats were not involved or even close to any of the real fighting and he was driven by his delusion of grandeur as the rightful heir to JFK, PT 109, and ascendancy to the Presidency---and besides, he would have lots of time and opportunities to make his "home movies".
Now this is the real motive why Kerry was there in the first place. And the fact that he took along his "brownie" and had himself filmed in staged combat settings should be painfully awakening to any casual observer--- other than those who wish not to see,---ie the mainstream media who wishes Bush out, Kerry in AT ANY PRICE! (There are none so blind as those who will not see). Think about it if you find this somewhat extreme---what other military service personnel brought along (which shows premeditation) filming capability and then went to the trouble to "stage" combat sequences???---For what reason???? And this cold, calculated effort has significant basis to be workable as these purveyors of history "re-write" are counting on the average arm chair American to accept this fiction as fact because---"there it is on T.V., in film, if it is on T.V. and the talking heads say it is real, then by gosh, it must be real, it must be what really happened".
So, in essence, we have a phony cartoon character, much like Bubba, who goes to VN simply to create credentials for himself, not out of patriotic belief in his country or the war itself,--- instead we have the pitiful, disgusting charade that is now being spun by the mouthpiece of the "donks" and Kerry himself, ranting: "never mind the fine details of what actually happened, at least he volunteered, at least he was there"---what does it really matter if he was in or near Cambodia, at least he was in VN.
It matters because a lie is a lie.
Kerry's "service" in VN and to our country was no different than if Michael Moore went today to Iraq to film a twisted phony version of U.S. aggression in Iraq and in doing so, returned as a "veteran" who had put his life at risk in "service" to his country. There is no difference between these two, the ketchup/pickle king and the fat slob Moore. They both would--- and have--- sold their country out in a flat minute for any self-seeking, self-promoting, self-aggrandizement goal they felt they could gain by their fraudulent "service" to gain their perverted ends--- no matter what the cost, what the lie, who has to be hurt. In their twisted philosophy, the end result justifies the means used to achieve it.
To not really examine the true motive of Kerry's "service" and to give him a pass on all this by saying that at least he volunteered, he was there, he did sustain "some kind of injury", (even if it was self inflicted) is to sugar coat the fraud and play into his game plan of reaching the White House, where, in his twisted, fantasy mind, he believes he rightfully belongs and he is counting on "coach potato America" to apathetically accept his fraud due to the credential of Hollywood and the Media. If Streisand, perky Katie, Dan and all the rest of them say it is so, then it must be so!
Kerry's war "hero" status cannot stand up to any serious scrutiny, witness the cracks since the book, Unfit for Command, Kerry's refusal to release pertinent military records (until he gets them laundered) and the recent statement by Secretary of the Navy, Lehman, that the document supposedly carrying his signature for Kerry's Silver Star is FALSE. Kerry has wrapped himself as worthy due to his 4 months in Viet Nam, he cannot stand on his 20 undistinguished, practically useless years in the Senate. The man has no accomplishment in life other than living off of other men's money inherited by their widows who Kerry has sucked up to.
There is so much in the Kerry convoluted smoking gun that a fair and unbiased press would be all over his dillusions/falsehoods with a microscope, but no, the mainstream media refuses and has accepted the fictional Kerry farce because they want Bush defeated more than they want the truth. Rather than investigate Kerry, the mainstream media, ie the New York Times chooses to attack those who expose Kerry for the fraud that he is. Kerry is their candidate and they will ignore, look the other way, even fabricate for Kerry, whatever it takes to get "their" man in.
We, the American people cannot let this happen. No one elected perky Katie, Dan, Peter, Tom, George Soros, the NYT---the list goes on, but these people have more power than anyone else simply because of their celebrity status and Soros's money. If the next Presidential election is stolen/bought by the likes of these self appointed cronies of the fourth estate, America will lose her greatness, the word must go out to expose what is happening and people, regular people must take back our country before it is too late and get everyone possible involved in exposing this sham, the phony Kerry, the disgrace that has become the media, the threat to our country to be defeated from within.
Posted by John Damon at August 29, 2004 08:24 AM2nd Photo /
John Kerry: "I see you are not wearing your hat. Can I borrow it for a few days? I left my briefcase at home with my lucky hat tucked in a side pocket that I don't tell anybody about except the media. Oh, did I tell you that I got my lucky hat from a CIA agent that I dropped off in Cambodia? Have you ever been to Cambodia, soldier?" (finger point)
Marine: "Only in your dreams, Senator. Only in your dreams."
Posted by Dan at September 1, 2004 08:26 PMPull my Finger!
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