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Texas (IP NEWS)
The Mudville Gazette will always be one step ahead of the "mainstream media" in reporting on the impact of news, and not just the news itself. As soon as we heard a recent Supreme Court decision, for instance, we immediately considered the joyful impact that it would have on thousands of incarcerated sodomites in this great land of ours.
So immediately following the Supreme Court decision overturning the Texas anti-sodomy law we sent an intrepid duo of crack investigative reporters to visit a Texas State Penitentiary in order to see how many inmates could now appeal their convictions.
Unfortunately, our reporters were denied access to the facility, and prison officials defiantly claimed that none of the inmates were actually imprisoned for sodomy. However, our boys did report in via satellite link that they heard:
"sounds of some wild celebration; shouting, grunting, and cheering emanating from the facility. A few possible screams of pain may have been mixed in, but they were brief or quickly muffled. The guards were apparently unconcerned, and simply mumbled something about "I guess it's their constitutional right.""You bet your sweet bippy it is" Said a local ACLU representative from his office in the administrative section of the prison.
Although steadfastly refusing to leave, we were nonetheless escorted from the prison grounds and sent away. However, as luck would have it, we stumbled upon a semi-truck full of Vaseline and other medical necessities inbound to the prison at local truck stop just up the road. After bribing the drivers we found ourselves hidden with the cargo and about to be smuggled in to the facility. We will report more as soon as possible." - Howell Raines/Gerald Boyd out.
And it's that kind of scrappy attitude and gritty determination that will take you places in this business, kids. And The Mudville Gazette will let you know as soon as we hear more.
