POST + TIMES = SHOCKER: "WE'VE LOST THE WAR!!!"

(WASHINGTON, IP NEWS)
According to the following WaPo headline: U.S. Troops Frustrated With Role In Iraq
Soldiers Say They Are Ill-Equipped For Peacekeeping

In a real shocker of a story, Daniel Williams and Rajiv Chandrasekaran of the Washington Post Foreign Service have located some soldiers who were willing to grumble and complain about what they were doing.

"It took some searching" said Williams, "but we knew if we kept at it we'd eventually find one who'd just finished a crappy MRE in 110 degree heat, missed his wife and family, was tired of being shot at, and ready to come home. After that we just shuffled the words around a little, exaggerated some other points and Presto! Pulitzer time!"

"Yea!" Said Chandrasekaran, "Hopefully this will start a trend. Of course, the NY Times has already done a similar story, but ours is more hard hitting and much shorter..."

Then Williams interrupted his partner. "And now that we've chimed in we expect this to be next week's official TV news theme. Soon Americans will realize we've "lost the peace" meaning we lost this war and the only way to support the troops is to bring them home. Bush and Rumsfeld are evil, bad, bad, troop haters! Also, there were no WMD!"

"That's last week!" Said Chandrasekaran, jabbing his partner in the ribs, "Stay on topic. But you know what? We should have gotten a picture of one of those really young looking soldiers too. But none of them ever walked into this bar here in Washington while we were writing up the story."

"Dude," whispered an inebriated Jayson Blair from a nearby booth, "shut up!"