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August 10, 2009

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Last time I heard his voice

By Mrs Greyhawk

Robert Stokely:

August 8, 2005 at 11:30 a.m. I received a call from Mike and we talked for 30 minutes or so. He was due home September 1 for leave and we talked about that, but then the talked turned to how dangerous it was in the Triangle of Death and the near misses he had, including one that day. Mike was killed by a road side bomb a week later and I never got to talk to him again. Each year on August 8 since, at 11:30 I stop what I am doing and I remember that call and what I shared with Mike in those last 30 minutes of conversation.

And I remembered today, August 8 at 11:30 a.m. while I was at the post office mailing one of Mike's best growing up / high school friends, SGT Charles "Chuck" Crowder, a package. When he called a few weeks ago from Afghanistan I asked if there was something I could send him, he said he wanted a white Georgia Bulldog ball cap - he had left his back home. Georgia Bulldog Head Coach Mark Richt autographed two for him. I figured in Afghanistan a white hat doesn't have a great chance of staying white long, so he can keep one put up for a keepsake. I wouldn't know Chuck but for Mike and Mike's death has brought us much closer, and he is not afraid to tell me he loves me. And it is the same with their mutual "best friend" Alden Williams who took the last known picture of Mike when responding to an IED incident, the one which Mike told me about as a near miss during that "last call". Alden called me recently from Afghanistan but I missed his call. I was so mad at myself, but I saved his message, and the ending warms my heart when he said to tell the family hello and I love all of you.

I thought about Justin Oulton, another of Mike's "best friends" (Mike couldn't just be an ordinary friend). They played high school soccer together and later shared an old farmhouse living on their own, dogs included. Justin keeps in regular touch with us and even helped for several weeks with hauling water to keep the new sod I planted on Mike's grave watered last September.

While at the post office I was also mailing out nine scholarship checks from the Mike Stokely Foundation, Inc. which brings to 29 scholarships for graduating high school seniors headed to their first year of college. While they are not full rides, they do carry out the mission of the Mike Stokely Foundation - giving a lot of kids a little help to go a long way in life. I thought about the kids in Yusufiyah who were so happy last year to get school supplies from the Mike Stokely Foundation, and the student at Georgia Military College who was the first recipient of the Mike Stokely Memorial Scholarship endowed by funds raised in the "Ride to Remember...." two years ago, and the one for this coming year. I thought about young children in need who got a book a month this past year to help them get a boost in life with reading skills, and wondered about a group of children whose socio-economic situation was pretty grim and were elated to get a book from the Mike Stokely Foundation for a birthday present (some the only present they got that day). I thought about several hundred inner-city kids who come to an annual Christmas Party called Flight to the North Pole and their gift bags contain a book from the Mike Stokely Foundation. I thought back to 1983 when I first got involved with the Flight to the North Pole and the many times Mike came to help with that annual party, even after he was grown.

I thought about the MilBlog community and friends I have come to know through Mike's death. I thought about all my Soldier's Angels including head Angel, Patti Bader. I thought about all of Mike's former unit, E 108 CAV 48th Brigade GAARNG, many who now continue to serve and are deployed to Afghanistan and a good number of those are with Bravo 2 / 121 INF 48th Brigade GAARNG in Afghanistan. I thought about the opportunity I was given to serve as Co-Chair of Bravo 2 / 121 Family Readiness Group. I thought about how this came about because of Mike. And there are so many other things that Mikes sacrifice has brought my way.

It has been four years since Mike last called me and the last time I heard his voice while he was alive. I remember every word, but I especially remember how re-assuring he was in the calmness of his voice even though he faced great danger in the Triangle of Death. Today, even though I can't actually hear him speak as he did in that last phone call four years ago, I can still hear him through all the things I describe above in the same re-assuring, calm way he sounded that day four years ago. You know, now that I think about it, August 8, 2005 really was not the last time I heard Mike's voice, for he continues to speak through so many blessings in our life, and that of many others. His voice is still calm and re-assuring.

DUTY HONOR COUNTRY

Robert Stokely
proud dad SGT Mike Stokely
KIA 16 AUG 05 near Yusufiyah Iraq
USA E 108 CAV 48th BCT GAARNG

It has been a blessing to have met Robert Stokely and to now call him a friend. Robert has been able take his personal loss and turn it into a celebration of Mike's life and what he stood for and he does it with dignity, grace, and honor.

Mike would be proud.



Posted by Mrs Greyhawk / August 10, 2009 6:59 AM | Permalink

4 Comments

{{{{{{{{Robert}}}}}}}}}}

You, and Mike, and the rest of your family will always have a special place in my heart and my prayers.

With gratitude, respect and love.

The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 08/10/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.

I've never lost a child- or a parent. But I did lose my grandma, whom I was very, very close to. A year after her death, the kids did something funny. Without thinking, I picked up the phone and dialed her number. It was an automatic response. I wanted to hear her laugh when I told her the story. Instead, I got a wrong number answer, hung up, and cried after realizing what I'd done.

I see I'm not alone in my quest to hear her voice again. But you're right, Robert. I "hear" her all around me, from the ivy planted in my front yard (it was a live floral arrangement from her funeral) to the photo of me as a 1-year-old, complete with bronzed baby shoes, that sits in my living room, as it once sat in hers. Last Christmas I was distraught when I couldn't find the box that contained Grandma's Santa and Christmas candleholders... and then sobbed when Keith found them, just because I could touch something I thought I'd lost forever.

When we remember, we never truly lose... but it sure would be nice to hear her voice again, just as you wish you could hear Mike's.

Considerably, the article is actually the sweetest on this deserving topic. I fit in with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your next updates. Saying thanks will not just be adequate, for the great lucidity in your writing. I will instantly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Authentic work and much success in your business dealings!

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November 26, 2010


America@war
[Greyhawk]
I think anyone who's ever pondered the "comment" option - once only available on blogs and bulletin boards, now ubiquitous on almost any web site - will appreciate this:
The so-called faculty of writing is not so much a faculty of writing as it is a faculty of thinking. When a man says, "I have an idea but I can't express it"; that man hasn't an idea but merely a vague feeling. If a man has a feeling of that kind, and will sit down for a half an hour and persistently try to put into writing what he feels, the probabilities are at least 90 percent that he will either be able to record it, or else realize that he has no idea at all. In either case, he will do himself a benefit.

That's wisdom from the past, captured for posterity at the US Naval Institute, shared via the web on the institute's 137th anniversary.

From their about page:

The Naval Institute shall remain

INDEPENDENT - A non-profit member association, with no government support, that does not lobby for special interests;

NON-PARTISAN - An independent, professional military association with a mission, goals and objectives that transcend political affiliations; and shall encourage

IDEAS - Through its respected journals Proceedings and Naval History, its conferences, its books and its online content, in support of those who serve.

"The Naval Institute has three core activities," among them, History and Preservation:

The Naval Institute also has recently introduced Americans at War, a living history of Americans at war in their own words and from their own experiences. These 90-second vignettes convey powerful stories of inspiration, pride, and patriotism.

Take a look at the collection, and you'll see it's not limited to accounts from those who served on ships at sea, members of the other branches are well-represented.

I'm fortunate to have met USNI's Mary Ripley, she's responsible for the institute's oral history program (and she's the daughter of the late John Ripley, whose story is told here). She also deserves much credit for their blog. ("We're not the Navy nor any government agency. Blog and comment freely.") We met at a milblog conference - Mary knew (and I would come to realize) that milbloggers are the 21st-century version of exactly what the US Naval Institute is all about. Once that light bulb came on in my head, I mentioned a vague idea for a project to her - milblogs as the 21st century oral history that they are.

"Put that in writing," she said (of course - see first paragraph above!) - and here's part of the result.

Shortly after the first tent was pitched by the American military in Iraq a wire was connected to a computer therein, and the internet was available to a generation of Americans at war - many of whom had grown up online. From that point on, at any given moment, somewhere in Iraq a Soldier, Sailor, Airman or Marine was at a keyboard sharing the events of his or her day with the folks back home. While most would simply fire off an email, others took advantage of the (then) relatively new online blogging platforms to post their thoughts and experiences for the entire world to see. The milblog was born - and from that moment to this stories detailing everything from the most mundane aspects of camp life to intense combat action (often described within hours of the event) have been available on the web...

And et cetera - but since you're reading this on a milblog, you probably knew that. And you know that milblogs aren't just blogs written by troops at war, that many friends, family members, and supporters likewise documented their story of America at war online in near-real time, as those stories developed.

The diversity in membership of that group is broad, the one thing we all have in common is the impulse to make sense of the seemingly senseless, and communicate the tale - for each of us that impulse was strong enough to overcome whatever barriers prevent the vast majority of people from doing the same. Everyone at some point has some vague idea they believe should be shared - we were the people who, from some combination of internal and external urging, found and spent those many half hours persistently trying to write it down.

*****

But where will all that be in another 137 years? Or five or ten, for that matter. That's something I've asked myself since at least 2004 - when I wrote this:

Closing Blogs is nothing new. So many site's owners just give up on their own. They come and go, you know, these MilBloggers do. Like any other sort of blogger. Many post in the lonely down hours far from home, spill their guts for the world, then abandon their spots when the tour of duty is up. They have lives again somewhere in the world, and no need to share the details. So it goes.

Many are truly gone - no site left at all. "The page cannot be found." Other blogs remain, like abandoned defensive positions in shifting desert sands.

Membership in the ghost battalion has grown in the years since, and an ever growing majority of those abandoned-but-still-standing sites are vanishing. Have you checked out Lt Smash's site lately? How about Sgt Hook's? If you're a long-time milblog reader you know the first widely-read milblog from Operation Iraq Freedom and the first widely-read milblog from Afghanistan are both gone from the web. If you're a relative newcomer to this world you may never even have heard of them - or the dozens upon dozens of others who carried forth the standard they set down.

If you have a vague notion that something should be done about that, (a notion I've heard expressed more than once...) then you and I and the good folks at the US Naval Institute are in agreement. Preserving the history documented by the milbloggers is just one of the goals of the milblog project, the once-vague idea that we're now making real.

And it's a big idea, if I say so myself - too big to explain in one simple blog post, so stand by for more. Likewise, it's too big a task to be accomplished by just one person. So if you're a milblogger (and exactly what is a milblogger? is a topic for much further discussion on its own) I'm asking for your help. All I'll really need is just a little bit (maybe just one or two of those half hours...) of your time, and your willingness to tell the tale.

We've already made history, it's time to save it.

(More to follow...)




Posted 4:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) |

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The Mudville Gazette is the on-line voice of an American warrior and his wife who stands by him. They prefer to see peaceful change render force of arms unnecessary. Until that day they stand fast with those who struggle for freedom, strike for reason, and pray for a better tomorrow.
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  • DAGNY: Considerably, the article is actually the sweetest on this deserving read more
  • AFSister: I've never lost a child- or a parent. But I read more
  • David M: The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the read more
  • brat: {{{{{{{{Robert}}}}}}}}}} You, and Mike, and the rest of your family read more

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The Mudville Gazette is written and produced by Greyhawk, who recently retired from 24 years of active duty in the US military, but will maintain this disclaimer: Unless otherwise credited, the opinions expressed are those of the author, and nothing here is to be taken as representing the official position of or endorsement by the United States Department of Defense or any of its subordinate components.

Furthermore, I will occasionally use satire or parody herein. The bottom line: it's my house.

I like having visitors to my house. I hope you are entertained. I fight for your right to free speech, and am thrilled when you exercise said rights here. Comments and e-mails are welcome, but all such communication is to be assumed to be 1)the original work of any who initiate said communication and 2)the property of the Mudville Gazette, with free use granted thereto for publication in electronic or written form. If you do NOT wish to have your message posted, write "CONFIDENTIAL" in the subject line of your email.

Original content copyright © 2003 - 2011 by Greyhawk. Fair, not-for-profit use of said material by others is encouraged, as long as acknowledgement and credit is given, to include the url of the original source post. Other arrangements can be made as needed.

Contact: greyhawk at mudvillegazette dot com

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*****

Tending Distant
Fires


Far from hearth and home, watching
Cold alone but not alone
On distant shore and only wanting
Safe return and little more

What tales we'll tell
When that time comes
When tales can be told

When things grim
Seem far away
When other fires go cold

Some distant sunset, vision fading
Memories remain
And tired eyes gaze 'pon folded flags
While distant drums beat their refrain

Saluting fallen friends whose names
And youth will never fade
Here's to those on other shores,
for them live well, the price is paid

- Greyhawk,
Baghdad,
December 2004