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« Prayers in Need, Wounded Soldier struck with family tragedy | Main | On Victory »

October 19, 2007

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Til Death

By Greyhawk

Fairly good news on the marriage front:

WASHINGTON - The strain of war on marriage has led to a gradual increase in divorce among couples separated by military duty, a study commissioned by the U.S. Department of Defense suggests.

The findings are surprising only because researchers expected to find a more significant spike in divorces, considering that military deployments have become longer, more frequent and more dangerous in the years since Sept 11, 2001.

"We see a slight increase, not the drastic increase that some would have expected," said UCLA social psychology professor Benjamin Karney, who spearheaded the study on behalf of The Rand Corporation.

The study, made public Monday during a briefing on Capitol Hill, was conducted because of concerns over media reports and other anecdotal evidence pointing to a link between divorce and war. The findings will be forwarded to David S. Chu, Defense Department undersecretary for personnel and readiness.

War does ruin some marriages, and definitely strains most.

On the other hand the Mrs and I just marked our 23rd Anniversary. (Love you, baby!) I spent our 20th in Iraq, too.

From rumors I've heard, there are also people who get married immediately before deploying to get the extra pay and benefits, then divorce on end of tour. I'm sure those rumors aren't true, and even if they were they would probably only account for a small percentage of the rise.


Posted by Greyhawk / October 19, 2007 2:08 AM | Permalink

12 Comments

Congrats on 23 years of marriage! A good marriage will stand the strains, a shaky one has a tough time. I can't imagine how hard it is. Well, I can ... but I don't think my imagination gets close to the real thing.

Congrats on 23 years, how wonderful!! And thank you for sharing this news blurp, doubt it will get any real media coverage, unless they only pull the negatives out! UGH!!!

Congratulations on your 23rd. My husband and I will celebrate 44 next March. He was a SSgt in the AF and the VN war was raging. He retired after 30 years a CMS and I know how difficult some of those years can be but real love just gets stronger and better with the years. Thank you both for your service and may God continue to bless you and our wonderful country.

Greyhawk and Mrs. Greyhawk - Congratulations on 23 years of marriage. That is absolutely wonderful. Sadly, I have had no good models of marriage in my life as everyone in my family is divorced or currently living in bad marriages (or both, having divorced and remarried and now their 2nd marriage is lousy as well). My parents divorced, every one of my aunts and uncles are divorced save one - and that marriage is going to end as soon as my cousin graduates from high school. I could go on, but you get the idea.

This is why I so enjoy reading about successful marriages and am so glad to see married couples so strong in their bond and companionship. From just reading your posts here on Mudville Gazette the last few years, I can understand why you two have a good marriage, what with being two strong, deep people with great heads on your shoulders and knowing what is really important in life. And you seem like people who work every day to improve yourselves and always looking to learn something new and tackle new challenges and make not only your lives better, but the lives of others around you better. I know I am a better person just for knowing you both through your writings here at Mudville Gazette on military and war matters. You both are an inspiration in many ways through your writing. I hope you know how much you are appreciated.

So thank you and congratulations and I wish you both much more happiness in your marriage in the years to come.

Dang! I was gonna comment, but MiMI said all the good stuff. Congrats anyway, and ditto on the thanks!

G,

I think a lot of military marriages are based on convenience. And as long as the military continues to discriminate against single servicemembers, this will continue.

Did the study segregate marriages with children from marriages without? That would be an interesting data point.

-- Uber Pig

Oh yeah, and happy anniversary to you and Mrs. G!

-- Uber Pig

G, that makes me feel old. Come to think about it, I guess I am. (23 year?) Mrs G must have been about 13 when you married.

Now mom, that would be illegal, I only looked 13 ;P.

Yep, it must have been the chewing gum ;)

I'll never live that down. Must burn that video.

Smog? In Iraq? Was there this much smog before we got there to ruin a perfectly decent country? This is another example of capitalist/democratic indifference to the suffering of the people. Jesus, what next? Dirty sewers? No polar bears? Fucking Americans.

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November 26, 2010


America@war
[Greyhawk]
I think anyone who's ever pondered the "comment" option - once only available on blogs and bulletin boards, now ubiquitous on almost any web site - will appreciate this:
The so-called faculty of writing is not so much a faculty of writing as it is a faculty of thinking. When a man says, "I have an idea but I can't express it"; that man hasn't an idea but merely a vague feeling. If a man has a feeling of that kind, and will sit down for a half an hour and persistently try to put into writing what he feels, the probabilities are at least 90 percent that he will either be able to record it, or else realize that he has no idea at all. In either case, he will do himself a benefit.

That's wisdom from the past, captured for posterity at the US Naval Institute, shared via the web on the institute's 137th anniversary.

From their about page:

The Naval Institute shall remain

INDEPENDENT - A non-profit member association, with no government support, that does not lobby for special interests;

NON-PARTISAN - An independent, professional military association with a mission, goals and objectives that transcend political affiliations; and shall encourage

IDEAS - Through its respected journals Proceedings and Naval History, its conferences, its books and its online content, in support of those who serve.

"The Naval Institute has three core activities," among them, History and Preservation:

The Naval Institute also has recently introduced Americans at War, a living history of Americans at war in their own words and from their own experiences. These 90-second vignettes convey powerful stories of inspiration, pride, and patriotism.

Take a look at the collection, and you'll see it's not limited to accounts from those who served on ships at sea, members of the other branches are well-represented.

I'm fortunate to have met USNI's Mary Ripley, she's responsible for the institute's oral history program (and she's the daughter of the late John Ripley, whose story is told here). She also deserves much credit for their blog. ("We're not the Navy nor any government agency. Blog and comment freely.") We met at a milblog conference - Mary knew (and I would come to realize) that milbloggers are the 21st-century version of exactly what the US Naval Institute is all about. Once that light bulb came on in my head, I mentioned a vague idea for a project to her - milblogs as the 21st century oral history that they are.

"Put that in writing," she said (of course - see first paragraph above!) - and here's part of the result.

Shortly after the first tent was pitched by the American military in Iraq a wire was connected to a computer therein, and the internet was available to a generation of Americans at war - many of whom had grown up online. From that point on, at any given moment, somewhere in Iraq a Soldier, Sailor, Airman or Marine was at a keyboard sharing the events of his or her day with the folks back home. While most would simply fire off an email, others took advantage of the (then) relatively new online blogging platforms to post their thoughts and experiences for the entire world to see. The milblog was born - and from that moment to this stories detailing everything from the most mundane aspects of camp life to intense combat action (often described within hours of the event) have been available on the web...

And et cetera - but since you're reading this on a milblog, you probably knew that. And you know that milblogs aren't just blogs written by troops at war, that many friends, family members, and supporters likewise documented their story of America at war online in near-real time, as those stories developed.

The diversity in membership of that group is broad, the one thing we all have in common is the impulse to make sense of the seemingly senseless, and communicate the tale - for each of us that impulse was strong enough to overcome whatever barriers prevent the vast majority of people from doing the same. Everyone at some point has some vague idea they believe should be shared - we were the people who, from some combination of internal and external urging, found and spent those many half hours persistently trying to write it down.

*****

But where will all that be in another 137 years? Or five or ten, for that matter. That's something I've asked myself since at least 2004 - when I wrote this:

Closing Blogs is nothing new. So many site's owners just give up on their own. They come and go, you know, these MilBloggers do. Like any other sort of blogger. Many post in the lonely down hours far from home, spill their guts for the world, then abandon their spots when the tour of duty is up. They have lives again somewhere in the world, and no need to share the details. So it goes.

Many are truly gone - no site left at all. "The page cannot be found." Other blogs remain, like abandoned defensive positions in shifting desert sands.

Membership in the ghost battalion has grown in the years since, and an ever growing majority of those abandoned-but-still-standing sites are vanishing. Have you checked out Lt Smash's site lately? How about Sgt Hook's? If you're a long-time milblog reader you know the first widely-read milblog from Operation Iraq Freedom and the first widely-read milblog from Afghanistan are both gone from the web. If you're a relative newcomer to this world you may never even have heard of them - or the dozens upon dozens of others who carried forth the standard they set down.

If you have a vague notion that something should be done about that, (a notion I've heard expressed more than once...) then you and I and the good folks at the US Naval Institute are in agreement. Preserving the history documented by the milbloggers is just one of the goals of the milblog project, the once-vague idea that we're now making real.

And it's a big idea, if I say so myself - too big to explain in one simple blog post, so stand by for more. Likewise, it's too big a task to be accomplished by just one person. So if you're a milblogger (and exactly what is a milblogger? is a topic for much further discussion on its own) I'm asking for your help. All I'll really need is just a little bit (maybe just one or two of those half hours...) of your time, and your willingness to tell the tale.

We've already made history, it's time to save it.

(More to follow...)




Posted 4:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) |

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The Mudville Gazette is the on-line voice of an American warrior and his wife who stands by him. They prefer to see peaceful change render force of arms unnecessary. Until that day they stand fast with those who struggle for freedom, strike for reason, and pray for a better tomorrow.
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  • Howard Veit: Smog? In Iraq? Was there this much smog before we read more
  • Mrs G: I'll never live that down. Must burn that video. read more
  • bigsisevengreyerhawk: Yep, it must have been the chewing gum ;) read more
  • Mrs G: Now mom, that would be illegal, I only looked 13 read more
  • Mom: G, that makes me feel old. Come to think about read more
  • Uber Pig: Oh yeah, and happy anniversary to you and Mrs. G! read more
  • Uber Pig: G, I think a lot of military marriages are based read more
  • MissBirdlegs in AL: Dang! I was gonna comment, but MiMI said all the read more
  • Michael in MI: Greyhawk and Mrs. Greyhawk - Congratulations on 23 years of read more
  • Moe: Congratulations on your 23rd. My husband and I will celebrate read more

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The Mudville Gazette is written and produced by Greyhawk, who recently retired from 24 years of active duty in the US military, but will maintain this disclaimer: Unless otherwise credited, the opinions expressed are those of the author, and nothing here is to be taken as representing the official position of or endorsement by the United States Department of Defense or any of its subordinate components.

Furthermore, I will occasionally use satire or parody herein. The bottom line: it's my house.

I like having visitors to my house. I hope you are entertained. I fight for your right to free speech, and am thrilled when you exercise said rights here. Comments and e-mails are welcome, but all such communication is to be assumed to be 1)the original work of any who initiate said communication and 2)the property of the Mudville Gazette, with free use granted thereto for publication in electronic or written form. If you do NOT wish to have your message posted, write "CONFIDENTIAL" in the subject line of your email.

Original content copyright © 2003 - 2011 by Greyhawk. Fair, not-for-profit use of said material by others is encouraged, as long as acknowledgement and credit is given, to include the url of the original source post. Other arrangements can be made as needed.

Contact: greyhawk at mudvillegazette dot com

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*****

Tending Distant
Fires


Far from hearth and home, watching
Cold alone but not alone
On distant shore and only wanting
Safe return and little more

What tales we'll tell
When that time comes
When tales can be told

When things grim
Seem far away
When other fires go cold

Some distant sunset, vision fading
Memories remain
And tired eyes gaze 'pon folded flags
While distant drums beat their refrain

Saluting fallen friends whose names
And youth will never fade
Here's to those on other shores,
for them live well, the price is paid

- Greyhawk,
Baghdad,
December 2004