Military Spouses

In my opinion that's why military families deserve appreciation for the sacrifice they make on our behalf. When I say I support the troops - I mean the whole troop - family and all. Without your support they could not do their jobs. We are eternally grateful to the families. So thank you.

I read an interesting observation that a disproportionate number of the folks who hold things together either wear uniforms or iron them.

Truer words were never spoken.

I've thought for a long time now that the spouse and children deserve more attention so that civilians realize they, too, make sacrifices. It's easy to spot someone in uniform and say a thank you or a welcome home, but the families are more invisible and have earned equally a sincere thank you.

And here's mine: thank you, Mrs. G. and all the other families of service members. And thank you for the post reminding us that behind the soldier is his family.

Mrs Grayhawk - Thanks for sharing that letter. It's a great reminder that the support we give should spread to all of the families, as well as the troops, as you all sacrifice much that we take for granted.

WoW. From a former AF brat, thanx.

I have always been aware of the sacrifices of military families, but never given much thoutht to the families of police and firemen. Thank you for that perspective.

Thank God men don't cry.
Often.

I stand in awe of the resilience and courage of military families. Thank you ALL for your service. My thoughts and prayers are always with our military men and women, AND their families.

That was a very powerful letter,thank you for sharing. God bless both our troops and their families. America is greatful for the scarifices you all make. Thank you for also reminding us that there are those here at home protecting and sacrificing everyday for our safety too. We love every single one of you.

Dear Mrs. Greyhawk,

My wife and I both got choked up as I read it to her, and I couldn't help thinking of my mother, who raised 9 children while bouncing around the world, usually having to be as responsible for other Army wives and their familes as my father was for the men he commanded. Military wives work as hard or harder than their husbands, often at the cost of their own dreams and aspirations. God bless them, and you for sharing this wonderful story.

Thank you Mrs G, your children, and Greyhawk for all you do for our country. I'm in awe of you all.

Mrs. Greyhawk. When I read this story, all I could think of was my father. He lost his wife, (my mother), 5 years and four months ago. They would have been married 50 years and everyday he still takes time to remember her. He still has some of her shoes in the same place she left them. He cleans around them, but keeps them there as a remembrance of her. I grew up overseas, going to many different places that people only dream about and I am grateful for every chance we had to meet new people. Sure we lost quite a few friends as my father's tour ended in one place and moved to another. I am proud to be an Air Force brat, and all of the opportunities that we had through many difficult transitions from one base to another. I'm a naturalized American Citizen due to some red tape and out dated legal law, but I am proud to be an American, and proud of what my father did for his country. I am more proud of what my mother did all those times that Dad was TDY. She was truly the head of the household and main disciplinarian when her son’s got out of hand. She had to deal with so many things on her own and without a ‘rule book’, it’s a wonder how she kept her sanity. If anyone deserves a medal, it's my mother. And to all the military spouses and families, who have, in their own special way, fought for this country's freedom, I salute you. Sometimes the families of military personnel are the forgotten warriors. Sometimes! I just wanted to thank you for this wonderful story. It brought tears to this 40something year old man’s eyes.

Thank you, Thank you for your thoughts and putting down something that needed so much to be said and said again. The ones left behind, left to make it and make it work are the real heros in the Military.

Your story about the old man at the PX struck a note with me also. My Dad was nearly destroyed by the passing of his life long companion and best friend, his wife. Well, for that matter so was I, as an only child. He told me one day as I caught him going through the family picture album, that when he thought he could'nt make it another day without her he would go through the album and look at the pictures and what she had written below each one. It gave him strength he said, to continue on.

When I went to Nam, My wife to be, was young and stayed with her parents. But she was determined to have our home ready for my return. I had purchased (begged, borrowed and barely making payments) an old place in the country. In the two years and some months that I was gone, she worked and helped make payments, hired and fired contractors, did much work herself, begged and got help from friends and her Dad (who was a retired carpenter, but disabled).

She had sent a few pictures to me, over the years I was gone, but when I got out of W. Reed and came back to West Texas and I drove up to the place that I remembered as an old, almost falling down house, I could not believe my eyes.

Without going into detail, it was completely restored and improved. From the roof down to the flowers and trees that she had planted herself.

We were married and have lived in that little county home since. She has passed but everyday I am reminded of her hard work and her love for me, left behind for me, in our little house in the country.

Papa Ray
West Texas
USA

Dear Mrs. GreyHawk,

Your post has focused my faith and love in my wife. Many harrowing sea-wife stories can she tell of the wandering seafarer leaving her with the kids and galavanting off to sea for fun and profit. I left her pregnant with one small waif and she promptly broke her foot on a toy my son had so helpfully deposited in her path. I was gone for an additional 65 days while it healed. She remembers.

On my first deployment, I left her alone for 62 days, and frolicked with seals and polar bears while she sailored on at home with previously unknown lumps in her breast. They turned out benign, but she remembers.

Later, when she was pulled over by the base police late one night, after she and the girls attended Mongolian Barbeque at Hickam O Club, due to an expired inspection sticker. The officer merely asked if her husband was a submariner, and was he deployed. Whereupon, the affirmative being her answer to both questions, he simply asked her to get the car inspected and wished her a happy deployment, offering her his condolences on my absence. She remembers.

When my son took to attending his basketball games at school over 60 minutes from our house in GA, after she drove there and back twice a day already, she merely asked that I be the one who took him to and from these games so she would not have to be on the road for 4 hrs a day amongst all the other daily requirements of our lives. I repaid her a month later by leaving for 35 days to replace an officer whose wife had herself grown ill. My son made his games. She remembers.

Yet I remember the woman who sent me off to do battle with sea serpents, and resist the mer-maids, while combating the evil mer-men with the photos of her and the kids and her soap and perfume on her cards and letters. She doesn't complain about our life of the past. But I remember how she shouldered her part and mine. I remember.

Subsunk

This was a very touching post. I do know the sacrifices made by the entire military family. But others may not think about the sacrifices made by the spouses and children, as well as the support that they provide. It is unfortunate that Greyhawk will not be with you for your birthday. But, I'm sure all the little hawks will keep you company.

If you're reading this, you've likely seen it, but just in case, I'd like to recommend 'We Were Soldiers'. It's pretty much the only movie I've ever seen that deals with the families back home.

Also, the novel 'Gates of Fire', about the Battle of Thermopylae and the effects of the martial life on Spartans and their families. Great historical fiction.

I am a 47 year old, and I think that letter describes my mother. She married my father in 1948, right after she graduated high school. He enlisted in the Navy as an enlisted man. Died active duty in 1974 as a LTCR, waiting for his final promotion (limited duty officer). He started in old Fleet Boats, plankowner on Skipjack, then transfered to Carriers. They, and then my sister, self and younger brother lived so many places I have lost track, and can no longer ask them, they are both gone. She took care of us, the very frequent moves, all the financial things (my dad often spent more than he should), and everything else the head of household has to do. I miss her, and him. I grew shallow roots as the letter said, but learned much.
God Bless military spouses and families, without them we would have no military.
Dave Glaspell
Honolulu, HI

Being born into the Army (I was born in Germany, where dad was posted), I didn't really think of anything unusual about it, since all my childhood friends were also millitary born. Dad got out when I was 10, and I finally had 1 school system to go to. My siblings were too young to remember all the shuffling around. Didn't strike close to home until a college class where a classmate had to interview me as part of the project, and a different project where each person brought in an object from thier childhood for another classmate to comment on. The classmate who interviewed me was considerably younger than me (I went to college in my mid-30's) and couldn't understand how I could have lived that way. My childhood item was my dad's medals and insignia, as that was what most shaped my life then. The childhood item that I was handed to comment on was a newspaper from a paper route that someone else had when they were a kid. I said that I missed out on having things like paper routes and lemonade stands when I was a kid. The frat boy who had to comment on my dad's medals and insignia got an F for the project. He had nothing to relate it to. It was then that I knew how much "they" didn't know, and how much I benefitted from it.
Strange, but true, I ended up marrying a "working" musician, who also is not home much of the time. Been married for going on 16 years. He has friends on thier 4th divorce. I think of my childhood as my prep for married life now. As I tell those who can't believe that I have stayed married to a touring musician for this long, it takes a special breed of person and a special degree of faith to live this type of life. There are many the day that I call my mom wondering how she did it.

Unfortunately, Ms. Swiney did not write about the things you are mentioning. She wrote the commissary story only. When you read "Over the years I've talked a lot about military spouses..." and the rest is a verbatim copy of my article "The Difference" which has appeared in many papers and two book collections. In April, it will be published in "Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul." Paige's story is good. I don't know why she felt she needed to copy mine. In any case, it is a hearfelt tribute to not just my spouse but to all military spouses. I did want you to know who really wrote it though...

Very Respectfully,
Steven A. Arrington, Colonel, USAF (ret)

Col. Arrington,
I believe that you have been more a victim of internet mutation than malicious intent (both pieces well written, and true):

http://www.americanmilitaryspouse.org/resources/story_01.asp

...the kind of emptiness that is rarely fulfilled when our husbands come home and don’t want to or can’t talk about work.

I’m reminded of an article attributed to Col. Steve Arrington: “We need to be reminded of the important role we fill for our family and for our country. Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses...

I agree wholeheartedly to all that was said. I to at one time was an Army Wife, but now I am part of the new breed of army wife,I am an Army Reserve wife(who bears a close relation to a National Guard wife) whose husband is gone for an indefinite time, left behind in a civilian world who has no concept of the stress we are undergoing, who don't understand the army lingoand must exist in a society of "why would your husband do that to you" people. I am fortunate to have had that "real army" experience but to those in my shoes who haven't I feel true sorrow for them. They do not have the support of the "army wife" system that exists on an army base.

It seems that the Lord made men a little weaker. We don't do well living longer than our wives or, especially, our kids.

Where would we be without... I can't even imagine.