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Greetings! You are reading an article from The Mudville Gazette. To reach the front page, with all the latest news and views, click the logo above or "main" below. Thanks for stopping by!
« Prelude | Main | Tethers »

December 21, 2007

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The Grinch II

By Greyhawk

Don't worry - the Mudville Christmas Special '07 will begin soon. But hey - it's that time of year when the networks roll out the old Christmas specials, and here at Mudvile we think that's a fine idea, so we're going to do some of our own. Here's one originally from Christmas 2003 - and while some of the links no longer function we think you'll get the drift of our look at why you see the headlines you often do at this time of year...

Everyone in America Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch, who lived just left of most folks, Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all
Was his heart (or something) was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
When Hanukah came he hated the Jews,
On Christmas his hate spread throughout his views
to Christians, Republicans, and right wingers too!

"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he sat down and started by taking some notes.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy thing!"
"With a choice few news stories some despair I'll bring!"

"This'll do for a start..." The Grinch said, "and how!"
And he told the whole world about America's Mad Cow!

"And just wait, now I've started some none-too-subtle spinning
on this story so you'll think that the terrorists are winning!

And toss in this plane scare, that should keep them home
where they can spend Christmas, miserable and alone!

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Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the newsroom, and he laughed at the "peasants".
He looked for a story of deaths in a fire,
when suddenly Baghdad news lit up the wire.

"Whee hee!" He cried out "This on page one goes;
even though they caught Saddam the violence grows!"

He filed his stories with a gleam in his eyes
"Tonight's work should get me a Pulitzer prize!"
But his head hurt from all of that serious thinking,
so he sat himself down and he started to drinking...

The next day, quite hungover, he slowly awoke,
but smiled and cackled, grabbed the cable remote
"Pooh-Pooh to the fools!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! Then they'll see the news!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the sheepleville sheeple will all cry Boo-Hoo!"
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"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he cranked the surround sound, put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising on the news show.
It started in low.
Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at America! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Everyone cross the nation, the tall and the small,
were singing! Without any real cares at all!

He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinchy-head pounding in pain,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "They must be insane!"
"I know - they're too stupid! They don't realize!
It's me that they need just to open their eyes!"

And what happened then...? Well...there's some who might say
That the Grinch's small heart shrunk three sizes that day!

'Cause he pulled all the shades and he locked up the door,
and started drooling and typing, snarling "Dean in '04!"

But all over the country, much to my relief
people sat down to dinner.
Roast Beef.

by greyhawk
(Original post: 2003-12-26 22:06:57)


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Posted by Greyhawk / December 21, 2007 4:23 PM | Permalink

3 TrackBacks

The Grinch '03 from Too Much To Dream on December 27, 2003 12:19 AM

A gift for you this Boxing Day: "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" has been updated for 2003. (More quality posting here later, folks. I've had a bit of a headache, been playing around with the site and almost chmod'ed it... Read More

Some post-Christmas fun from Shameless Self-Promotion on December 27, 2003 3:41 AM

The Grinch has joined the Dean campaign, and this time he doesn't learn his lesson.... Read More

Here's Mudville in Your eye Tee hee.... Read More

12 Comments

Awesome. Just awesome.

Great stuff! Congrats.

p.s. P-u-l-i-t-z-e-r.

Yep: It is now! Thanks.

hehe....Great stuff. Life just keeps getting worse for the allies of our enemies.

Awwwwww too f*&%ing bad....

PAPADOC

Its been a BAD YEAR for the left, hasn't it?

Clinging to EUtopian fever-dreams
and anti-American anger memes,
Leftists across both rank and file
fill themselves with hostile denial...

He wasn't captured! He was drugged and dragged
and now there's no way that Saddam'll be gagged
He'll whisper and answer and tell the sad tale
of France's misdeeds, while he rots in the jail.

He'll talk of France, China and Russia
and how he got help from the likes of New Prussia
The Left has been gutted, slapped upside the head
by Reality's grim beauty!
Best go back to bed...

The pain that leftists wish on all others
began when dropped on their heads!
By their mothers!

I thank you for that holiday verse for it cheered me up during these long work hours. Keep it up for we have the power!

Wonderfully done! BRAVO!!!!

Excellent stuff! Merry Christmas!

Scott made me cry and you made me laugh; it's usually the other way around :D

Mrs G copy.png

March 19, 2010


Dawn Patrol 03/19/2003
[Greyhawk]
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"Welcome to the Dawn Patrol, our daily roundup of information on the War on Terror and other topics - from the MilBlogs and various sources around the world."

Mudville was founded in March, 2003. Our efforts to bring the thoughts, words, and deeds of milbloggers to a wider world evolved to become The Dawn Patrol in March, 2005. With today's entry we're going to reset the clock - but not re-write the history - and recreate the world as it was - on a day the world changed...

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(More front pages here.)

Updating... more to follow....

MILBOGS

Andrew Olmsted, 19 Mar 2003, Stateside: It would appear that the liberation of Iraq has begun.

Greyhawk, 18 Mar 2003, Germany: A united world could have, just maybe, brought down Saddam without firing a shot. We will never know. 19 Mar: We'll never know what a united world could have achieved... the UN could not agree on anything, the situation degenerated, and here we are. Status quo was not working. The French were too desperate for oil and trade at any cost. Well-intentioned Americans were led into the streets by Communists (and others) with an agenda. The media distorted the split. Many in America and abroad thought they could manipulate the situation to their personal gain. They miscalculated. The fire is lit.

Pontifx ex Machina, 18 Mar, undisclosed location: Rolling out the gate, the guard gets a quick "hook-em, horns" sign as we weave through the barricades. Then we're off, cruising through the desert in a battered-up SUV. On the eve of war, only one thing passes through our minds: is there going to be any appropriate music on the radio?

Lt Smash, 19 Mar, undisclosed location: Read the President's speech today. The clock is ticking.

Chief Wiggles, 22 Mar, Kuwait: The war started Wednesday morning for us right after the president gave a speech to the American people that lasted about 4 minutes. We were all very anxious for this whole thing to be either over or get it on its way.

Will, 22 Mar, en route: I am going to Baghdad to personally shoot that paper hanging son of a bitch!

Lt Smash 20 Mar, undisclosed location:
From: Public Works Department
To: Saddam Hussein
Subj: BLASTING OPERATIONS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

Sgt Stryker, 20 Mar, Stateside: Iraq to File U.N. Complaint About Attack

Primary Main Objective, 30 Mar, undisclosed location I Dare Kofi to Come Get Me.

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BruceR, Flit, 19 Mar, Canada: AND SO IT BEGINS. Godspeed, Yanks. Come home safe and soon.

Andrew Olmsted, 20 Mar 2003, Stateside: The most important thing to remember over the next few days is this: the first reports are almost always inaccurate. First reports are generally submitted in the heat of battle before any real analysis can take place. Therefore, they're highly subjective, based on limited information, and rarely hit the mark. So as the first reports of 'surgical strikes' on Iraqi forces come in, it's best to take those reports with a grain of salt...

Iraqi Blogs

Salam Pax, Baghdad: The bombing aould come and go in waves, nothing too heavy and not yet comparable to what was going on in 91. all radio and TV stations are still on and while the air raid began the Iraqi TV was showing patriotic songs and didn't even bother to inform viewers that we are under attack. at the moment they are re-airing yesterday's interview with the minister of interior affairs. THe sounds of the anti-aircarft artillery is still louder than the booms and bangs which means that they are still far from where we live, but the images we saw on Al Arabia news channel showed a building burning near one of my aunts house...

Other Blogs

Andrew Sullivan, The Daily Dish: How much more morally indefensible is appeasement when we also have complete international authority to do what must be done? I think we will look back in the future and not ask, as so many now are, how it was that diplomacy didn't get unanimity on this matter. We will look back and see the moral obtuseness of Chirac and Putin and Schroder and Carter and feel nothing but contempt for them, and their preference for state terror over the responsibilities of the free world. That's why I felt enormous pride tonight in the stand being taken by Blair and Bush. The president's speech was measured, firm, just. Blair's political risks - in order to do what he believes is plainly right - will confirm him in history as a great prime minister, the conscience of his party, and the leader of his country. I say that before this war begins, because the cause is just whatever vicissitudes of conflict await us...

Glenn Reynolds has a ton of links.

Newpapers

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Updating... more to follow....


(The Dawn Patrol's Archives are here.)



Posted 2:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)


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The Mudville Gazette is the on-line voice of an American warrior and his wife who stands by him. They prefer to see peaceful change render force of arms unnecessary. Until that day they stand fast with those who struggle for freedom, strike for reason, and pray for a better tomorrow.
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  • Pooke in Sheepleville: Scott made me cry and you made me laugh; it's read more
  • LisaS: Excellent stuff! Merry Christmas! read more
  • gamaliel: Wonderfully done! BRAVO!!!! read more
  • Gozer: I thank you for that holiday verse for it cheered read more
  • SharpShooter: Its been a BAD YEAR for the left, hasn't it? read more
  • Andrea Harris: Hee hee. Kewl! read more
  • dogtulosba: "Nooice" read more
  • PAPADOC: hehe....Great stuff. Life just keeps getting worse for the allies read more
  • Greyhawk: Yep: It is now! Thanks. read more
  • Cedar Pundit: So perfect! read more

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The Mudville Gazette is written and produced by Greyhawk. Unless otherwise credited, the opinions expressed are those of the author, and nothing here is to be taken as representing the official position of or endorsement by the United States Department of Defense or any of its subordinate components. Furthermore, I will occasionally use satire or parody herein. The bottom line: it's my house.

I like having visitors to my house. I hope you are entertained. I fight for your right to free speech, and am thrilled when you exercise said rights here. Comments and e-mails are welcome, but all such communication is to be assumed to be 1)the original work of any who initiate said communication and 2)the property of the Mudville Gazette, with free use granted thereto for publication in electronic or written form. If you do NOT wish to have your message posted, write "CONFIDENTIAL" in the subject line of your email.

Original content copyright © 2003 - 2009 by Greyhawk. Fair, not-for-profit use of said material by others is encouraged, as long as acknowledgement and credit is given, to include the url of the original source post. Other arrangements can be made as needed.

Contact: greyhawk at mudvillegazette dot com

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