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July 23, 2003
Ooglay Hussein's DiaryBy Ooglay Hussein
Ahhh woe upon me I am rending the clothings of my person in grief unequaled through human history as my beloved brothers, those grease-coated heroes of Tikrit, Europe, and the American left, are lying now as corpses in the hands of the infidel! How fondly I remember the many humiliations I suffered at their glorious hands, the unspeakable acts they committed upon my person as I matured, the many things no man should do to another that were done to me by them for pleasure! All gone now, the world will never know their like again! Were it not for my recent acquisition of some 30-odd million American dollars I would have virtually nothing left to live for. Excuse me pig Americans, while I am going to further rend my suddenly antiquated-looking personal wardrobe....eternal woe be upon me!
Thank you. My grief is slowly passing. "Ooglay" you are saying, where is it you are now?" And I would answer then "Iraq is where I am for now."
"And Ooglay, most glorious Saddam's only living son, how are you there again? Is it not dangerous with the cities crawling with American soldiers?"
And then I would say "I am not my father's only remaining son. Already you have forgotton my half-brother Quasi, he who my Glorious Father caught Uday lowering into the shredder feet first. This is how he bacame a half brother to me. Also you have forgotten my other brother who was so sickened at the sight that we changed his name to Queesy. So still my Father has the three of us as a blessing unto him in his old age.
Well why am I being back in Iraq? Was the desire to be in my homeland so great? Did I so miss the days when I could dangle my toes in the Euphrates on a hot July morning while the screams of Udays "latest" were carried on the breeze?
No. Honest to Allah the only thing that brought me here was American dollars. And my delightful sense of irony. You see, I am now on temporary leave from my job as Managing Editor of the New York's Time Newspaper. I am working as "fact-finder" for the Democratic National Committee and something called "The Nine." I'm still a bit confused by details, but apparently these "Nine" are plotting to somehow overthrow your King Bush, and I am to gather information here that may help them to do this wonderful thing. But here is something that I learned from reporters at Times: "Oog, baby," they would be saying "why bother gathering information when you can sit in a bar and make it up?" So yes that is what I am doing in Iraq.
And really I do nothing until one of "The Nine" starts to really bug me, then I will provide some "discovery" like the Nigerian Uranium thing. Some of them are bothering me more then others. One is calling al the time, he is Howard something and he is a Dean or something I suppose at University. He is nutty. Also funny is Kerry who threatens me with bodily harm. He says he is Killer Nam Vet. I say this is not scary to one who grew up in the palace I grew up in. One other is named Kook-a-nitch or something and I don't know what he says, and also Sharpton is not to be understood.
Whatever. It is fun to tell them things and hear them shout with joy and say "I knew it! We've got him now!" But maybe they just aren't getting my message out because there is georgebush still pumping my Glorious Father's oil.
Also I am getting to publish my "findings" in NY Times, even though DNC is paying for my work. Pretty slick, yes?
Well I was going to be leaving for now but then speaking of money I am making I am realizing that someone may read my first part and be thinking it was me who turned in my Brothers. This is not true. I swear by the Prophet it was my Glorious Father who was a little short on cash.
"Ooglay" he is saying to me "you know the Americans, how much you think we get for Uday and Qusay?"
"Of Glorious Father, for whom all Iraq shall soon rise up behind again, I am sure the most unworthy Amer dogs would give us at least ten thousand Dinar each!"
And so that is how I am having new suits made in Paris via the internet, while my Glorious Father is hoping he can cover this weeks bribes.
I will take care of him though. After all, am I not now his favorite son?
Posted by Ooglay Hussein / July 23, 2003 10:28 PM | Permalink
More to come, it seems. Ooglay has come out of his grief-stricken exile, (actually his cushy post at the NYT, but that's another story) to let us know that there's not only Saddam in line for the perforated skull treatment.... Read More
November 26, 2010
I think anyone who's ever pondered the "comment" option - once only available on blogs and bulletin boards, now ubiquitous on almost any web site - will appreciate this:
The so-called faculty of writing is not so much a faculty of writing as it is a faculty of thinking. When a man says, "I have an idea but I can't express it"; that man hasn't an idea but merely a vague feeling. If a man has a feeling of that kind, and will sit down for a half an hour and persistently try to put into writing what he feels, the probabilities are at least 90 percent that he will either be able to record it, or else realize that he has no idea at all. In either case, he will do himself a benefit.
That's wisdom from the past, captured for posterity at the US Naval Institute, shared via the web on the institute's 137th anniversary.
From their about page:
"The Naval Institute has three core activities," among them, History and Preservation:
The Naval Institute also has recently introduced Americans at War, a living history of Americans at war in their own words and from their own experiences. These 90-second vignettes convey powerful stories of inspiration, pride, and patriotism.
Take a look at the collection, and you'll see it's not limited to accounts from those who served on ships at sea, members of the other branches are well-represented.
I'm fortunate to have met USNI's Mary Ripley, she's responsible for the institute's oral history program (and she's the daughter of the late John Ripley, whose story is told here). She also deserves much credit for their blog. ("We're not the Navy nor any government agency. Blog and comment freely.") We met at a milblog conference - Mary knew (and I would come to realize) that milbloggers are the 21st-century version of exactly what the US Naval Institute is all about. Once that light bulb came on in my head, I mentioned a vague idea for a project to her - milblogs as the 21st century oral history that they are.
"Put that in writing," she said (of course - see first paragraph above!) - and here's part of the result.
Shortly after the first tent was pitched by the American military in Iraq a wire was connected to a computer therein, and the internet was available to a generation of Americans at war - many of whom had grown up online. From that point on, at any given moment, somewhere in Iraq a Soldier, Sailor, Airman or Marine was at a keyboard sharing the events of his or her day with the folks back home. While most would simply fire off an email, others took advantage of the (then) relatively new online blogging platforms to post their thoughts and experiences for the entire world to see. The milblog was born - and from that moment to this stories detailing everything from the most mundane aspects of camp life to intense combat action (often described within hours of the event) have been available on the web...
And et cetera - but since you're reading this on a milblog, you probably knew that. And you know that milblogs aren't just blogs written by troops at war, that many friends, family members, and supporters likewise documented their story of America at war online in near-real time, as those stories developed.
The diversity in membership of that group is broad, the one thing we all have in common is the impulse to make sense of the seemingly senseless, and communicate the tale - for each of us that impulse was strong enough to overcome whatever barriers prevent the vast majority of people from doing the same. Everyone at some point has some vague idea they believe should be shared - we were the people who, from some combination of internal and external urging, found and spent those many half hours persistently trying to write it down.
But where will all that be in another 137 years? Or five or ten, for that matter. That's something I've asked myself since at least 2004 - when I wrote this:
Membership in the ghost battalion has grown in the years since, and an ever growing majority of those abandoned-but-still-standing sites are vanishing. Have you checked out Lt Smash's site lately? How about Sgt Hook's? If you're a long-time milblog reader you know the first widely-read milblog from Operation Iraq Freedom and the first widely-read milblog from Afghanistan are both gone from the web. If you're a relative newcomer to this world you may never even have heard of them - or the dozens upon dozens of others who carried forth the standard they set down.
If you have a vague notion that something should be done about that, (a notion I've heard expressed more than once...) then you and I and the good folks at the US Naval Institute are in agreement. Preserving the history documented by the milbloggers is just one of the goals of the milblog project, the once-vague idea that we're now making real.
And it's a big idea, if I say so myself - too big to explain in one simple blog post, so stand by for more. Likewise, it's too big a task to be accomplished by just one person. So if you're a milblogger (and exactly what is a milblogger? is a topic for much further discussion on its own) I'm asking for your help. All I'll really need is just a little bit (maybe just one or two of those half hours...) of your time, and your willingness to tell the tale.
We've already made history, it's time to save it.
(More to follow...)
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