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July 23, 2003Ooglay Hussein's DiaryBy Ooglay HusseinAhhh woe upon me I am rending the clothings of my person in grief unequaled through human history as my beloved brothers, those grease-coated heroes of Tikrit, Europe, and the American left, are lying now as corpses in the hands of the infidel! How fondly I remember the many humiliations I suffered at their glorious hands, the unspeakable acts they committed upon my person as I matured, the many things no man should do to another that were done to me by them for pleasure! All gone now, the world will never know their like again! Were it not for my recent acquisition of some 30-odd million American dollars I would have virtually nothing left to live for. Excuse me pig Americans, while I am going to further rend my suddenly antiquated-looking personal wardrobe....eternal woe be upon me! Thank you. My grief is slowly passing. "Ooglay" you are saying, where is it you are now?" And I would answer then "Iraq is where I am for now." "And Ooglay, most glorious Saddam's only living son, how are you there again? Is it not dangerous with the cities crawling with American soldiers?" And then I would say "I am not my father's only remaining son. Already you have forgotton my half-brother Quasi, he who my Glorious Father caught Uday lowering into the shredder feet first. This is how he bacame a half brother to me. Also you have forgotten my other brother who was so sickened at the sight that we changed his name to Queesy. So still my Father has the three of us as a blessing unto him in his old age. Well why am I being back in Iraq? Was the desire to be in my homeland so great? Did I so miss the days when I could dangle my toes in the Euphrates on a hot July morning while the screams of Udays "latest" were carried on the breeze? No. Honest to Allah the only thing that brought me here was American dollars. And my delightful sense of irony. You see, I am now on temporary leave from my job as Managing Editor of the New York's Time Newspaper. I am working as "fact-finder" for the Democratic National Committee and something called "The Nine." I'm still a bit confused by details, but apparently these "Nine" are plotting to somehow overthrow your King Bush, and I am to gather information here that may help them to do this wonderful thing. But here is something that I learned from reporters at Times: "Oog, baby," they would be saying "why bother gathering information when you can sit in a bar and make it up?" So yes that is what I am doing in Iraq. And really I do nothing until one of "The Nine" starts to really bug me, then I will provide some "discovery" like the Nigerian Uranium thing. Some of them are bothering me more then others. One is calling al the time, he is Howard something and he is a Dean or something I suppose at University. He is nutty. Also funny is Kerry who threatens me with bodily harm. He says he is Killer Nam Vet. I say this is not scary to one who grew up in the palace I grew up in. One other is named Kook-a-nitch or something and I don't know what he says, and also Sharpton is not to be understood. Whatever. It is fun to tell them things and hear them shout with joy and say "I knew it! We've got him now!" But maybe they just aren't getting my message out because there is georgebush still pumping my Glorious Father's oil. Also I am getting to publish my "findings" in NY Times, even though DNC is paying for my work. Pretty slick, yes? Well I was going to be leaving for now but then speaking of money I am making I am realizing that someone may read my first part and be thinking it was me who turned in my Brothers. This is not true. I swear by the Prophet it was my Glorious Father who was a little short on cash. "Ooglay" he is saying to me "you know the Americans, how much you think we get for Uday and Qusay?" "Of Glorious Father, for whom all Iraq shall soon rise up behind again, I am sure the most unworthy Amer dogs would give us at least ten thousand Dinar each!" And so that is how I am having new suits made in Paris via the internet, while my Glorious Father is hoping he can cover this weeks bribes. I will take care of him though. After all, am I not now his favorite son? The complete works of Ooglay Hussein can be found here. Posted by Ooglay Hussein / July 23, 2003 10:28 PM | Permalink 1 TrackBackMore to come, it seems. Ooglay has come out of his grief-stricken exile, (actually his cushy post at the NYT, but that's another story) to let us know that there's not only Saddam in line for the perforated skull treatment.... Read More |
November 18, 2009Dawn Patrol 11/18/2009 [Mrs Greyhawk]
Welcome to the Dawn Patrol, our daily roundup of information on the War on Terror and other topics - from the MilBlogs and various sources around the world. If you're a blogger, you can join the conversation. If you link to any of these stories, add a link to the Dawn Patrol too and your trackback will be added to the list. Hat Tips to the Dawn Patrol are greatly appreciated.Refresh for updates.
AFGHANISTAN/PAKISTANBoondoggle -- [3rd Time, New Country - in Afghanistan] Clinton in Kabul for Karzai's inauguration -- [Foreign Policy - AfPak] The war of leaks -- [Foreign Policy - AfPak] Ridding Afghanistan of Corruption Will Be No Easy Task -- [Los Angeles Times] Afghan Minister Accused of Taking Bribe -- [Washington Post] Vision for Victory, Part I -- [Washington Times] U.S. Turns to Local Guns-for-Hire to Guard Afghan Outpost -- [Danger Room - Noah Shachtman] NATO Chief Confident Afghanistan Will Have More Troops -- [Voice of America] Germany to extend Afghanistan mission another year -- [AP] Pakistani Successes May Sway US Troop Decision -- [New York Times] Where are Taliban and al Qaeda commanders, US media asks Pak -- [Daily News & Analysis] Pakistani Army Shows Off Captured Taliban Posts -- [Washington Post] IRAQIraqi Kurds Warn of Election Boycott in Dispute Over Seats - [Washington Post] US has time to reconsider Iraq drawdown plan-Odierno -- [Reuters] A few words from medics for the 41st Brigade -- [The Oregonian] Goodbye to Iraq, and thanks -- [The Oregonian] U.S. AND OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLDUS, China in Strained Diplomatic Embrace -- [Wall Street Journal] Obama: 'We've restored America's standing' -- [CNN] Somali Pirates : Maersk Alabama Attacked, Fights Back -- [Eagle Speak] Iranian COS Warns Russia: Your Security Is Tied To Ours -- [Memri Blog]
WAR ON TERROR /TERRORISMSuspected Fort Hood Shooter Believed to Be Self-Radicalized -- [Wall Street Journal] Guantánamo Won't Close by January, Obama Says -- [NY Times] SUPPORTING THE TROOPS...OR NOTNo Man Left Behind -- [Knottie's Niche] LTC Tim Karcher Update -- [Soldiers' Angels Germany] Support SA while Christmas shopping this year! -- [Soldiers' Angels Germany] Trees for Troops: Helping Military Families -- [AdAge.com] FOX 5 Special: I-Team VA Loans -- [FOX News] A FOX 5 I-Team investigation uncovered allegations of a nationwide scheme by banks and mortgage companies to defraud U.S. military veterans. The scheme, spelled out in court documents, claims banks are overcharging veterans on home refinancing loans. The question raised in a racketeering and class action law suit is how many of those loans involved banks defrauding U.S. military veterans. MILITARYMuslim discrimination in the U.S. military. Not. -- [Castra Praetoria] Time to revisit firearms policies on military posts -- [Atlanta Journal Constitution] Army's Record Suicide Rate 'Horrible,' General Says -- [Washington Post]
WELCOME HOMEVeterans' descendants welcome troops home to Fort Campbell -- [Clarksville Leaf Chronicle] 'Greywolf' Among First CAV Troops to Return Home -- [DVIDS] THE MEDIAWhere are Taliban and al Qaeda commanders, US media asks Pak -- [Daily News & Analysis] Army officials said that they have killed as many as 550 Taliban militants a month after the military began its campaign into the lawless territory, yet they acknowledge that hundreds, perhaps thousands more have melted away.
POLITICSRepublicans Criticize Obama's Call to Delay Hill Inquiries on Fort Hood -- [Washington Post] HUMOR / SATIRE
Iraq, Afghanistan, War, Terrorism, Military, Politics, Media, MilBlogs, dawn patrol Mudville
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The Mudville Gazette is the on-line voice of an American warrior and his wife who stands by him. They prefer to see peaceful change render force of arms unnecessary. Until that day they stand fast with those who struggle for freedom, strike for reason, and pray for a better tomorrow.
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